Sunday, October 25, 2009

Pieces of Me

I have proof my procedure is working besides the $27,000+ bill that was sent to BCBS. Pieces of my tumor are falling into the toilet every day, two or three times a day. Sometimes they look like bloody shredded tissue, sometimes just white tissue. Sometimes, it looks like crab meat. But the tumor is getting smaller. I keep measuring my tummy and abdomen with a tape measure, and my upper abdomen keeps getting smaller. This past week, I started wearing a belt with my jeans, because they are falling down.

However, this is only one of two good things. I am losing weight because I just don't have an appetite. Also, I've bled every day for more than a month now. Imagine, ladies, having your period for an entire month and all that special time of month entails. Nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, abdominal pains, fatigue, the whole nine yards.

Oh well, this too shall pass, but I wish I'd had some warning. Judging from the size of my tumor, this will probably be going on for a while.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Rich Have It Bad

Oh my God. I just saw that executives from seven companies bailed out by the government are going to get their pay cut. I'm really, really concerned. How are those executives that are used to making millions of dollars a year going to survive on maybe $100,000 a year, if that?

It's horrible. Just horrible.

It must be horrible to be a rich person here in America. Having to get used to a cramped eight bedroom house, instead of the thirty room mansion. Downscaling to a Cadillac when that Bentley was just so sweet. Learning to cook because it costs so much to have a full-time, live-in cook.

If you are as concerned as I am about this travesty, please help now! Donate whatever you can to "Elevating the Elite." I've decided to start this charity (although the people I plan to help prefer to look at it as a "consulting group". Please help these people reach the level of living they are used to having. Believe me, you have no idea how much of a shock downsizing can be. The rich are people too, you know.

Elevating the Elite
P. O. Box 10864
Fort Wayne, Indiana 46854-0864.

Your donation is not tax deductible, but I'm sure this sacrifice is a small one to bear. These people have serious adjustments to make; going from $10 million plus a year to perhaps $100,000 a year. As these hard workers struggle to get by on six figures, you can make their lives a little easier. God bless you.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Don't Like Government Programs? Don't Fucking Use Them!

I got into a minor dust-up with a co-worker about health care. I wore my “Canada” sweatshirt to work, and the co-worker said, “Their health care sucks.” He then went on to say in Vancouver, six thousand MRI scans had been cancelled because they didn’t have enough machines. I said, “yeah, but did you know 18,000 Americans a year die because they don’t have health care?” “Just get a job!” was his response.
He then said something interesting. His girlfriend, who works two jobs, doesn’t make enough to buy health insurance, of course, so she’s getting her pregnancy taken care of by Medicaid.
This is a guy who thinks subsidized health care will ruin this country, yet his girlfriend is getting Medicaid for her pregnancy. Can you say “hypocrisy?”
Listen, you douche bags: if you’re against government programs, fine. But Jesus Fucking Christ, the second you lose your job and your savings run out and things start to get a little hungry and drafty, do not, I repeat DO NOT go screaming, “where’s my benefits?”
I’m so fucking sick of people going apeshit about universal health care, when they are getting some sort of government assistance. And isn’t it hilarious, these oldsters draining Medicare dry, saying, “No socialized medicine! Hands off my healthcare!”? If you’re against food stamps, stay away from the food banks, you fucking hypocrite.
We as a nation would be so much better if we just admitted that we want our share of the government pie. We do. We WANT OUR SHARE. Don’t fucking argue with me, you do. You do want your unemployment, WIC, AFDC, Medicare, Medicaid, food stamps and anything else government-funded, like federally subsidized student loans.
I realize shit happens, but why the hell do people who have kids expect a handout? And they do—from baby showers and every other thing they can get, their mindset is, “I’m having a kid. Give me stuff.”
Fuck that. FUCK THAT. F-U-C-K T-H-A-T. I never met anyone in my reproductive years that appeared to be a decent father, or even wanted to be a father. Based on my history with men and my ongoing parade of shitty jobs, I had no business even THINKING about having children. One of my doctors cautioned me about becoming pregnant after my surgery I had earlier this summer. I explained to him that I didn’t want to bring children into this world if I couldn’t raise the kids as well as my mom and dad did with my brother and me. He actually was impressed that I’d given kids so much thought. I said, “Most people act like they’re having puppies: “oh, let’s have a kid! We’ll worry about the bills later! It doesn’t matter that we’re not married and that none of us really have a legal stake in this relationship!”
Not me. Not this bitch. If the government helps you raise your kids, the government has a say in HOW your kids should be raised. I mean, fair is fair, right? If Uncle Sam is providing the check, why the hell do you think you should be able to spend it any way you see fit on your kid?
I’m not against government assistance, but don’t be a fucking hypocrite about it. If you are against universal health care, buy your own insurance, and then if you get turned down, don’t expect my tax dollars to pay for your heart attack. I don’t care. You’re not going to want to pay for any future surgeries I may have to have.
And for God’s sake—pay for your own children. You may be convinced your child is the brightest, most wonderful, sunshine-filled specimen to invade the earth. That thought has only been shared by five or six billion other people. It’s such an original thought. It’s a real safe bet that a large majority of babies brought into this world with government assistance will not become rocket scientists, cure poverty, end world hunger or graduate from a four-year college. Your kid (or kids, as the case always seems to be) will think it’s perfectly okay to get knocked up or knock someone else up. After all, Uncle Sam will pay the tab, because babies are a worthwhile commodity to this nation. They provide more taxpayers. Although, since jobs are being shipped out of the country, they might find it a bit rough to survive. That’s okay—Uncle Sam will pull through somehow. Because probably by the time your kids are ready to go out on their own, Uncle Sam will be owned by China.
And that co-worker? This will be his second child. His first was from a “previous relationship” and they weren’t married either. And the mother of the child was receiving WIC.
I’m proud to say during my economic meltdown of last summer, I did not receive a SINGLE CENT of government assistance, though I did apply for it. I managed to scrape by and feed myself, my dog and my cat by my wits, the kindness of a few friends and taking shit jobs 99 percent of Americans wouldn’t do. And here I am, working three jobs, so fucking kiss my ass.
I am NOT against government programs, but if you are, don’t use them. And take care of your own fucking kids, you lazy-ass, uncommitted assholes.