Wednesday, December 31, 2014

New Years Eve 2014

I had a pretty good day today. I tried out my thrift shop skis up at Bittersweet. I had to be careful, because I had no idea if the bindings were set for my weight. And the technician was gone. But the skis worked just fine. They are REALLY old school--they don't look anything like the skis in the ski shop up there. The edges are straight, which means turning is a bit more difficult. But they WORKED. For $32.10 (boots, skis, poles and bindings) I couldn't pass them up. Hopefully they will hang together long enough until I can shell out for newer skis.

On the slopes, I caught myself smiling. It's rare that I smile. I am not sure why that is. Even when I'm having a good day, I look like I'm having a bad one. But I was smiling because at that moment, I was happy. I was zipping downhill, and even if I didn't look so graceful, I felt happy because I was probably getting a good workout--better than my usual ones here at home or at the gym. Sometimes I think I'd have a better outlook on life if I had my own ski hill in the backyard and if I had a swimming pool.

I probably should have stayed longer to ski, but the slope I was on felt like it was getting icy. And with my bindings set to who knows where, I didn't want to risk taking a serious fall and not having the skis release. I did fall once. I caught an edge, but I wasn't going fast and it didn't hurt.

I got to thinking a little bit about things while I was at Bittersweet. It was a beautiful sunset. I thought a little bit about the year. I made it into grad school and got an A in both of my classes. I think I was only happy when I was struggling over my papers. So in that sense, it was a successful year.

I also lost a bunch of weight (which I've gained back). I'm not happy about that, but when I stress out, I eat, and the last few weeks of school, I had three projects and three papers due, and I was hitting the potato chips and Pepsi/Coke. I feel bad about that. I feel bad, because I need to conquer my love of junk food, and I don't know if that will happen. At the same time though, I felt happy that I'd lost weight. I thought that wasn't possible. I liked the way my legs felt. I liked having a smaller waist. It also made me realize how much Goddamn salt I consume. That needs to stop.

I haven't really thought about New Year's resolutions. But on the way home from Bittersweet, I thought of something I could do. It's not really positive or nice. I thought I could be bitchy and condescending and disrespectful and rude to men. Why? Well, because for decades, I've tried being nice, considerate, kind, flirty, cool, reserved, shy, coy and myself. Men still look at me like I'm dog poop. And I hate the look on their faces when they have to deal with me. It's the old, "Jesus Christ, do I HAVE to talk to YOU?" look. Yeah, every time I look in the mirror I get depressed too. But buddy, you are not my dream come true either. The older I get the worse it gets, too. Men my age seem to have snow-white hair, or they are grizzled beyond belief. Some of them are way fatter than I am, but I'm STILL not worthy of respect or polite conversation. I'm sick of it. I'm tired of feeling like a literal dog, and wagging my theoretical tail, and being polite and getting those dead stares. So maybe I'll just slowly turn into a Euro-intellectual wannabe. I don't understand the majority of people who live here anyway, so I'll do whatever I can to show them I'm NOT like them. I'll try on a new persona around men--the nose in the air snob. I'll lose weight and try to buy quality clothes as inexpensively as I can. I mean, what the hell? Why not? The "men" around here are not worth pursuing anyway. They don't read, they don't exercise, their stomachs are bigger than mine--why have I wasted so many years worrying about them liking me? I don't ever expect to have a relationship again, but it seems that the foreigners that come into my work get along with me better than the homegrown Hoosier redneck assholes I'm surrounded by.

So yeah, maybe not such a nice New Year's resolution, but fuck it. Being nice hasn't really gotten me anywhere, except shit on, stepped on, pissed on, and taken advantage of. Maybe I'll join the Christian hypocrites and be nasty all week long, then go to Church (Catholic, it's more European) and ask for forgiveness. Speaking of which, Pope Francis is almost making me proud to be Catholic.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

A Very Quiet Christmas

I haven't written lately, because I just haven't wanted to. Not on this blog, at least. I feel like it's not being read anyway, so why bother? I have kept a journal for over ten years now, but probably that won't ever get published and that's fine.

I've wanted to relax these past few days. I completed my first semester of grad school, and really am thankful I got As in both my classes. I put in hours of work on my papers. I had to read stuff that I could not believe. But I got through it. I certainly hope next semester is better than this semester was.

Today, I slept late, like I usually do when I don't have to work or be in class. I ate a lot of chocolate and fried myself up some shrimp. I'm not sure if I will have anything else. I did some reading today, and put a video in. I didn't get dressed the entire day. Or rather, I spent the entire day in my relaxing attire: oversized t-shirt and sweatpants.

My Christmases have been pretty dull these last few years. I spend them by myself. I don't have to get dressed, I can get up at 4 p.m., and I can eat what I want. I don't have to worry about being with other people and have to put up with their nonsense. I spent too many years putting up with an acquaintance who always had something nasty to say to me, and because I stood up to this narcissistic, morbidly obese cunt, I lost a few friends in the process. That's okay.

And this weather hasn't helped either. All this rain. It's almost like it's spring. But I've been amusing myself, reading and spending hours online, looking up people from my past.

So it's quiet this Christmas. I bought a few goodies for myself. It's certainly different from past Christmases. But those people will never ever return. That I've had to learn to live with for a long time now.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Even More Close-Ups!

I'm having fun with these!


It's crunchy!
It's cheesy!
The best of its kind (in my opinion) is made in Chicago.

So what is it???




















Give up???
















Well, it's ...







It's cheese popcorn! Made by Jay's in Chicago! I think it is the BEST cheese popcorn in the WORLD!


Monday, December 15, 2014



This one should be easy!



If you've saved one, you've earned one.
Pick one up, all the day you'll have good luck.
You see cups of them at convenience stores near the register.

Give up???

























Well, it's a ...







A penny! Minted in Denver in 2001. (That's what the D stands for.)


Sunday, December 14, 2014

Today's Close Up!

This one seems obvious, but it isn't.



Your clues:

It might be time to think differently.
It BEADS that way.
Wrist way did it go?

Stumped?







Ready to give up?



Well, it's a






















Strap from a wrist watch!

Saturday, December 13, 2014

More Close Ups!

Here's another one!


You can always make a note of this.
And it will stick.
But not always permanently.

Give up?















Well, it's a ...















Pad of purple Post It notes!


Friday, December 12, 2014

Today's Close Up!

This one's very common, although you might not recognize the detail from the first picture.


Hints:
One is never enough.
Stores are named after this.
It has many nicknames.


Give up???










Well, it's a ....














Dollar Bill! The detail is from the left side (George's right side) of his jacket.


Thursday, December 11, 2014

These Close Ups are Fun!

Here's another pair for you to decipher!


These look like mini brushes, and they are, sort of!
They also serve as filters too!



Give up?











They are ...















My eyelashes!


Wednesday, December 10, 2014

More Close Ups!

Here's another pair of close up pictures! Can you guess what it is?


It's really soft!
You can make all sorts of stuff with it.
It's cozy too!





Give up!???

















It's ...
A cellphone case made out of pink fleece! The drawstrings are the ribbon that I had on the blog yesterday. The phone case is a bit too snug for my phone, but it makes a cute little case for little things.









Tuesday, December 9, 2014

I'm Ready for my Close Up!

A few weeks ago at Meijer, I picked up a smartphone microscope. It has been years since I had access to a microscope, so for $15, I thought it would be an amusing toy. There was a more expensive one for $40 that I saw later on.

So I put it aside for a couple weeks, but the other night, I played around with it. It's easy to use. You just clip it on right over your smartphone camera lens, and snap pictures. A flea jumped off my dog, and I was able to snap a few shots of the tiny bug. I thought it might be fun to take pics of some ordinary objects close up, then see if people can guess what they are.

Here's my first pair of pics!


Here are some hints:

This object is soft.
It can hold things together.
It can hold bags open.
It can hold bags shut.

It comes in all colors, but yellow is a very popular color for this.

Give up? Scroll down to see what it is.





















The object is an orange ribbon!


Saturday, December 6, 2014

I've been ...

Writing, just not blogging. More later, I promise!