Showing posts from February, 2016

Mini Movie Monday!

An original one tonight! This is Hilary Armstrong and elle/The Remmant. They are a Folk/Americana group from Indiana and Ohio. The group was playing at J.K. O'Donnell's in downtown Fort Wayne. I rarely get out to see live performances, but these ladies were really good. They have other videos on YouTube. I think they are under the Hilary Armstrong channel.

Dream Dude (Part whatever of several) What's the Sexiest Part of a Guy? Read On!!!

Another installment of what I would like in a guy. Not that I'll ever find it, but I thought I'd put a piece together about Mr. Spectacular.

Gloria: You sound bitter. Gloria: Probably because I am. But I don’t think I’m a monster. I think I could be really, really good in a relationship, but I have to meet the right guy. Some men think it’s all about the money. Being nice to me doesn’t cost a cent. I went to a writer’s conference in November, and I met some agents. All of them were pretty nice, but one in particular was really nice. He said to me, “I hope you have someone at home who tells you how wonderful you are every single day.” I thanked him, but said I don’t have anyone like that. I almost started crying in front of him.
Understand where I’m coming from, and if you’re willing to be patient, you’ll be rewarded with someone who won’t cheat on you, who is a pretty good cook, bakes awesome cookies, and is affectionate, energetic, always up for a road trip and is downright pass…

More Creepy? Creepy How??? Wacky Dating Profiles and my Snarky Responses to Them!

More dating profile nonsense! If you really enjoy these, check out the first book in my online dating series: I Care What I Look Like and So Should You: Narcissistic, Nutty and Just Plain Weird Dating Profiles and My Snarky Responses

It's practically free, and if you have KindleUnlimited you can read it for FREE!!!!

Meme by Tim S.
Here are the winners for this week:
Package engineer. I'm the guy who made those annoying plastic packages you hate to open. Oh, so YOU’RE the one! I’m coming after you, motherfucker!

nice cool guy to talk to get along with very sexual and very love to smoke weed never drink love hanging out with my son my son is 4 years ol exam for you is a good mom in his life what is cool I love to do a lot of things very adventurous I need a lady in my life that's the same way I would love to fa…

Mini Movie Monday!

This one is mostly audio. I love this. I'm watching New York Stories right now, and this was in the film. Not this recording specifically, but the same piece.

From Wikipedia:
The Prince tries to convince Turandot to love him. At first she is disgusted, but after he kisses her, she feels herself turning towards passion. She admits that, ever since he came, she had both hated and loved him. She asks him to ask for nothing more and to leave, taking his mystery with him. The Prince however, reveals his name, "Calaf, son of Timur – Calaf, figlio di Timur" and places his life in Turandot's hands. She can now destroy him if she wants (Duet – Turandot, Calaf: Del primo pianto).
Scene 2: The courtyard of the palace. Dawn
Turandot and Calaf approach the Emperor's throne. She declares that she knows the Prince's name: Diecimila anni al nostro Imperatore! – "It is ... love!" The crowd cheers and acclaims the two lovers (O sole! Vita! Eternit√†).
I also love Paul Pot…

Another Installment of Dream Dude! (Part whatever of God only knows how many.)

Gloria: So what’s he really like?
Gloria: (Singing) I want a guy with a mind like a diamond, I want a guy who knows what’s best, I want a guy with shoes that cut, and eyes that burn like cigarettes. I want a guy with the right allocations, who’s fast and thorough, and sharp as a tack, he’s playing with his jewelry, he’s playing with his hair, he’s touring the facility and picking up slack….
Gloria: I want a guy with a short skirt and a looooong jacket.
Gloria: Not really. I mean, I don’t want a cross-dresser, or some fucking European prince, but I want someone interested in the world. I want someone who’s traveled, so we can compare places we’ve been and places we want to go. I want someone who can communicate well. If he knows a foreign language, that’s cool.* Foreign accents drive me wild.* He has to be well read.
He also has to be really intelligent, but also perceptive and sensitive. You can be the smartest guy in the world, but if you don’t have a clue, it can be seriously frustrati…

Happy Saturday Morning! Another installment of Creepy? Creepy How?

Meme by Tim S.
Having a great time with these! And people are enjoying them!

I like working an I well precise for my family What?
I have not had sex in over 2.5 years Guys, please don’t. I know it’s sad when you don’t get laid, but this just comes across as desperate.
I am a strong confident man who is not hung up on trying to display a male imagine given to me by a TV set I imagine a male who can write well. You are obviously not that male.
I told my ex everyday for 20 yrs, of 25 yr marriage, that I loved her. See, if you’d just kept up that last five years of saying “I love you,” perhaps you wouldn’t be currently separated now! He’s mentioned three times in his profile that he was married for 25 years. I’m beginning to wonder if that 2.5 years he hasn’t had sex is actually 25 years!
Im looking for someone to get to know very well and do things with.......lots of things.....planned things and spur of the moment things.....right now things..... How about thingy things?
I hope that I could take he…

Mini Movie Monday!

I didn't make this video, but I wish I had. I normally don't like rap music, but this one is funny. The line about "last time I had sex was in 2003, and I'm ashamed to admit that it wasn't free" always makes me laugh. AND he's Canadian, so of course I love him.

Yes! It's Another Installment of Creepy? Creepy How???

It's fun to see people trying to express themselves, and it gets even funnier when people are on dating sites. Everyone sounds great, or mental. So I've been checking out a certain dating site, looking for some wacky profile descriptions. Here's another installment. Enjoy!

Meme by Tim S.

I have always been told I am shy/quite
I believe the word you want is “quiet.” Why the FUCK is this so hard to figure out???
I am not subscribe here Y U no good writer?
like going out and having a great time and be vary sexurl when the time comes to play This reminds me of that Ermagerrd Meme. I like sexurl intercourse ern a king serzed berd.
Well I! Looking for a Good woman no bs. No drama. Honest bocheaterwamt some o me that wants so!ethimg out of life. Woman that works even though I'm not working at this time I don't want nowoman to take care of me either Well, at least he’s not bragging that he “talks good” or “writes good.” He wants a working woman even though he’s not working “at thi…

Another Installment of Dream Dude! (In which Gloria talks about feminist men, smoking, drinking and politics)

Gloria: What about feminist men? Gloria: As friends, they can be mellow to be with. As a dating situation, it’s kind of tough. What gets annoying is when they tell you, “you don’t have to wear makeup,” “you don’t have to dress up.” That is basically telling you what to do, which they can’t seem to understand. Shouldn’t it be about doing what I WANT to do? And if I want to dress up, it’s going to be for me. If you’re enjoying it, fine, but I’m not doing it for you.
And dating a feminist man… I was friends with a feminist man, and it was fun, but he couldn’t understand why you can’t wear hiking boots with a dress on a job interview. Feminist men still don’t seem to understand that women are judged by their looks. If we don’t look like we’ve put a decent outfit together, it makes us look like we can’t dress appropriately for the situation. If all men were blind, we wouldn’t have this problem, but that’s not going to happen. As for dating a feminist man, I can’t imagine having him ask me, “…

Mini Movie Monday!

This isn't an original video from me, but it's certainly ... original. I found this video while searching for "A Furry Rebirthing", which was excerpted in Everything Wrong With YouTube, from the BrandSins channel. I guess I'm fascinated with people's freakdom, and I know a little bit about the furry community. But not much. Anyway,  this is from beeblefoxx, who made the "A Furry Rebirthing" video. Titled, "Unboxing My New Daughter", it's listed as "comedy" but there's very little that's funny about this video, which kind of shows how weird people can be, and the attachments they make to certain items. This video is disturbing to me. Everything from the guy's trembly, effeminate voice, to the mannequin itself, to the end, where beeblefoxx breaks down crying, while popping open a soda. Well, that part is kinda funny I guess. Who the fuck Jimmy is, I have no idea.

Hey! It's another installment of Creepy? Creepy How???

Meme by Tim S. I'm having a blast making fun of ridiculous dating profiles. And from the looks of my stats, people are digging them. So here are some more from the interwebs. My snarky comments are in boldface.

am intelligent, bright and quit-witted guy Because being “quick-witted” is just so overrated.

Qualities I love about my Wife So why does it say “divorced” in your dating profile? Did she help you compile the list of the qualities you love about her?
Old women adore me. Yup, that is the NUMBER ONE quality men brag about! Come here, grandma! You are looking HOT today!
My medication cabinet consists of Motrin, vitamins, and some random crap. (still wondering how stool softeners got in there.) Dude, I know EXACTLY how that butt plug got into MY medicine cabinet!
i am also a bad boy, so your secrets are my secrets. i am fully experienced in full body massages and mine are free the first time So I have to tell you where I buried the bodies? Uh, no thanks. And if I have to pay you to massag…

More Dream Dude! The SEX part!!! (Part one of several)

Yes, I KNOW this is really long, but aren't you glad I broke it up into shorter segments? Because I didn't really want to leave anything out. I'm anal retentive like that. (But I'm not into anal--just thought I should make that clear.)

Gloria: What about sex? Gloria:I like a cool bedroom for sleeping. I mean temperature-cool, not necessarily aesthetically cool.
Gloria: That doesn’t have anything to do with sex. Gloria: We have to talk about this?
Gloria: Well, your ideal guy will probably want sex. Gloria: I don’t want to go into too much detail. You know the kind of creeps I attract!

Gloria: Give me something, at least. Gloria: Okay—no threesomes, no public sex and no fucking other women while we are together.
Gloria: That’s it? Gloria:That’s all I’m telling you. I will save it for the guy if/when the appropriate time comes. But one thing he’ll never have to worry about is me cheating on him. I could be dropped butt-naked on an island full of men and he wouldn’t have to worry…

Mini Movie Monday!

Sometimes I look at stuff and think they look like things that are totally not what they appear to be. What do I think this looks like? You'll never guess...and yes, I guess I have a dirty mind.