EdgeofGloria

So a couple weeks ago, a former classmate PM'ed me on Facebook. Asked me if I wanted to go out for drinks. I hadn't seen this person in a while, and I'm pretty isolated due to job schedule, so I said yes. I asked them if the following day would work. No response. The day I suggested getting together, I PM'ed them, and said, "are we on for drinks tonight?" No response. The whole thing makes me wonder if the exchange even happened, or if I, in fact, don't exist. It's getting so I don't approach people anymore, not even my friends, and ask them if they want to do stuff anymore. I've been invited and blown off so many times, that the only people who keep appointments with me are my therapist and job interviewers. I'm socially awkward, but I'm beginning to catch on to certain things. Such as, "hey, do you want to get together for drinks" actually means, "I haven't seen you for a while, and haven't talked to...

I usually cringe when I hear about shootings. It seems like they happen all too frequently. I wish I had the answer to stop them, but I don't. I don't think anyone does. I've read some of the stuff Elliot Rodger has written and how bad he felt. One article cautioned that some of the stuff he wrote was pretty graphic. I've read some way out there stuff, and while reading it, I couldn't help but nod. Yup, I felt the same way. I wish I could have talked to this guy, and said, “yeah, I have the same problems, except with men.” We all deal with stress in different ways. I guess for me, I've always written. That, and I've eaten. I've eaten when I was depressed, and because it tastes good. Men seem to pick up guns and start shooting. I've been bullied, and I've been very hurt. I credit the bullying I was subjected to in middle and high school with totally fucking up my relationships with men. When you hear, “you're ugly, you have no ...