EdgeofGloria

An oldie but a goodie. We probably all need a laugh right now. I thought this was going to be a regular feature. I thought I'd critique dating site profiles. I was having fun with it, but then it seemed like the profiles were the same thing repeated over and over. Some were even stolen, as I'd seen the exact same words used by several different men.  Plus, I get bored extremely easily, which is another reason why I stopped doing them. Maybe I will look for some less mainstream dating sites, and start these back up again. This ran in January 2016, and I think it was the second post on this topic. Time for another installment of Creepy? Creepy How? A big thank you to fellow Bruin Tim S. for creating this hilarious (and horrifying) meme of Buffalo Bill paired with an actual excerpt from a guy's dating profile (typos and creepy vibe intact.) In case you are late to the show, I've been scanning through some dating profiles and laughing my as...

Apparently, men don't like being called on bullshit in their dating profiles. I nearly got removed from one of the dating sites I'm on. And I complained about a couple of assholes. So it's not been going well, but I expected that. Anyway, here's a fresh crop of profiles and my snarky responses. Male 41--Not much into any games but more into my two boys!! This sounds so wrong. Male 41--Really not sure what to think after the judge held me up on dating, seriously!! If the judge doesn’t want you to date, you really shouldn’t admit that. Male 50--Life is getting shorter so let's not wait. And if you keep smoking, it will get even shorter! Yes the hair on the woman is my first and most reaction of my attraction... Well, the hair on my legs is plenty long! Party time! Male 44-- I have three kids and seven grandkids that keep me on my toes. Is it just me, or is a 44-year-old grandfather just … bizarre? Male 32-- i'm a music lover, ...

My most recent post was rather sad, so here are some online dating profiles and my snarky responses to them. I haven't sent them to the daters ... but sometimes I think I should. Enjoy! Meme by Tim S. i laugh i sing what more could ya want. Gainful employment, good hygiene, no tattoos, good teeth, charm, and a gentlemanly demeanor. Just because other men have broken your heart don't automatically asume that I will too. You spelled “assume” wrong. Therefore, you will break my heart—and my poor spelling limit. I don't have much to offer but a big heart. Not into guys with enlarged hearts. Disclaimer: if we meet and you don't look like your profile photos, you're buying me drinks until you do. And if YOU don’t look like your profile photos, you are buying me Coach handbags until you do! A reader suggested I list gender and age with the profiles, so here ya go! Male, 54-- I hug extraordinarily well. And you’re lazy as fuck. His pro...

Meme by Tim S. Here we go with more wacky profiles.  I have a good set of shoulders. Really? My tits are awesome! You’re dealing with the ultimate gentleman/bad boy. So, you’re an oxymoron? I have been told I look like Mel Gibson. No, you don’t. If you cant have a good time just being with your self even ,,, then whats the point of anything at all period. A lot of potential suicides have this same thought! I'm a hard wording dad You need to word harder on proofreading. I am tall an little extra pounds but just rite for u babe. I. I be waiting to hear from you anytime babe. How do you know that your extra pounds are just right for me? That’s like saying my great big herpes sore on my lips is just what you need. I cannot receive messages at this time. Well, good luck finding a woman! Fun and outgoing. Blah blah blah lol. I suck at this so just ask. But your answer will probably suck too, so forget it. When it comes to problem...

Meme by Tim S. Enjoy each day with the beauty of my life and treat her as if she was the only one ever.........a natural beauty all that makeup is for the birds........ I’ve had cosmetic surgery, so I wonder how he feels about that. Plus, makeup is fucking awesome. NYX is my favorite brand now. Oh, go fuck yourself dude. I hate winter and the cold. And I’m okay with it, so, NEXT! im 5o feeling good,loking for trusting partner to share life with,never tryed this befor ,been maired over 18 years and deivorsed 3years,trust is a bigg part of a good thing.............................. Y U no can spell? It's hard to be shy in a city full of beautiful women. Dude’s from Fort Wayne. I wouldn’t describe this town as full of beautiful women, but I will say the women DO look better than the men. And aren’t some men intimidated by beautiful women??? Yet this dude is single. Huh. I love fires and the lake! The lake, the lake, the lake is on fire….wh...

Meme by Tim S. Here is another installment of wacky dating profiles and my mean-spirited responses. I feel like the well is running dry on horrible profiles, so I'm on a couple of other websites. Enjoy! Get this out of the way first: A lot of women seem to be looking for guys who make over $100,000/year. Less than 5.63% of the entire US population makes this, which in the town of Jackson, assuming 1/2 the population is male (about 4700?), 5.63% of that leaves you with somehow around 260 (but we all know that this is very unlikely to be the reality) so really, you are probably talking about more like 80 guys in town for all you gold diggers, and then...what are the chances these guys, if smart, dont know that women might 'use' them for their money, and if not that, then they are alcoholics, narcissists, emotionally unavailable, and beyond? Wait-! what about that essential 'chemistry' and all that other yummy stuff that love is suppose to bring-did you f...

Meme by Tim S. More online dating madness and snarky responses!!! Be careful out there kids! Im a good man i work every day i make good money but ..i want someone that will love me for me not my momey.. Im very loyel .. Sorry i cant spell to good .. My grandma raised me to be a gentalmen .. I dont play games ..so if yoir a player or a con- artes .dont bother me ok .. Im a one women man .. If im with someone there is no other .. If your a good loyel women lets talk and get to know each other better cant wait to find the speshal lady. ... please no skanks I’m surprised he spelled “skanks” right. If you spell this badly, can you actually hold down a job? How did he get one in the first place??? She needs to like experiment. You are NOT experimenting on me! I have a little girl she is 6 months old and she's the love of my life and who ever I meet will have to except her as well It’s “accept”, not “except.” Sometimes, being an English major is torture.  Oh, ...

Meme by Tim S. Here are this week's winners! I have lived in NC my entire life. Yes, I have a southern accent. This is the LEAST impressive thing you’ve got going, buddy. Try working on an Italian accent. Domestic accents just don’t cut it. Tttttttttttttttyyyyyyyytttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttfffftgtftftftftffkkkkkkkkkkkmmkkkkmmkmmmkkkmmkkmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Wow, he’s a top-notch typist—said nobody ever . So tired of the woman waiting for a guy to make a pass when it's just as easy for a woman to say hey I would like to get to know you. Well, if men didn’t hate me so much, and if I weighed 100 pounds and was gorgeous and had 40DD hooters, I’d make the first move. But I don’t, so I won’t.  Looking for someone who's not afraid to express themselves.Not into complainers! So you basically want someone to express themselves, but only if you get to direct things? Sorry, I’m not into dictators. Or “dick taters”....