EdgeofGloria

Apparently, men don't like being called on bullshit in their dating profiles. I nearly got removed from one of the dating sites I'm on. And I complained about a couple of assholes. So it's not been going well, but I expected that. Anyway, here's a fresh crop of profiles and my snarky responses. Male 41--Not much into any games but more into my two boys!! This sounds so wrong. Male 41--Really not sure what to think after the judge held me up on dating, seriously!! If the judge doesn’t want you to date, you really shouldn’t admit that. Male 50--Life is getting shorter so let's not wait. And if you keep smoking, it will get even shorter! Yes the hair on the woman is my first and most reaction of my attraction... Well, the hair on my legs is plenty long! Party time! Male 44-- I have three kids and seven grandkids that keep me on my toes. Is it just me, or is a 44-year-old grandfather just … bizarre? Male 32-- i'm a music lover, ...

My most recent post was rather sad, so here are some online dating profiles and my snarky responses to them. I haven't sent them to the daters ... but sometimes I think I should. Enjoy! Meme by Tim S. i laugh i sing what more could ya want. Gainful employment, good hygiene, no tattoos, good teeth, charm, and a gentlemanly demeanor. Just because other men have broken your heart don't automatically asume that I will too. You spelled “assume” wrong. Therefore, you will break my heart—and my poor spelling limit. I don't have much to offer but a big heart. Not into guys with enlarged hearts. Disclaimer: if we meet and you don't look like your profile photos, you're buying me drinks until you do. And if YOU don’t look like your profile photos, you are buying me Coach handbags until you do! A reader suggested I list gender and age with the profiles, so here ya go! Male, 54-- I hug extraordinarily well. And you’re lazy as fuck. His pro...

Meme by Tim S. Here we go with more wacky profiles.  I have a good set of shoulders. Really? My tits are awesome! You’re dealing with the ultimate gentleman/bad boy. So, you’re an oxymoron? I have been told I look like Mel Gibson. No, you don’t. If you cant have a good time just being with your self even ,,, then whats the point of anything at all period. A lot of potential suicides have this same thought! I'm a hard wording dad You need to word harder on proofreading. I am tall an little extra pounds but just rite for u babe. I. I be waiting to hear from you anytime babe. How do you know that your extra pounds are just right for me? That’s like saying my great big herpes sore on my lips is just what you need. I cannot receive messages at this time. Well, good luck finding a woman! Fun and outgoing. Blah blah blah lol. I suck at this so just ask. But your answer will probably suck too, so forget it. When it comes to problem...

Meme by Tim S. Enjoy each day with the beauty of my life and treat her as if she was the only one ever.........a natural beauty all that makeup is for the birds........ I’ve had cosmetic surgery, so I wonder how he feels about that. Plus, makeup is fucking awesome. NYX is my favorite brand now. Oh, go fuck yourself dude. I hate winter and the cold. And I’m okay with it, so, NEXT! im 5o feeling good,loking for trusting partner to share life with,never tryed this befor ,been maired over 18 years and deivorsed 3years,trust is a bigg part of a good thing.............................. Y U no can spell? It's hard to be shy in a city full of beautiful women. Dude’s from Fort Wayne. I wouldn’t describe this town as full of beautiful women, but I will say the women DO look better than the men. And aren’t some men intimidated by beautiful women??? Yet this dude is single. Huh. I love fires and the lake! The lake, the lake, the lake is on fire….wh...

Meme by Tim S. More online dating madness and snarky responses!!! Be careful out there kids! Im a good man i work every day i make good money but ..i want someone that will love me for me not my momey.. Im very loyel .. Sorry i cant spell to good .. My grandma raised me to be a gentalmen .. I dont play games ..so if yoir a player or a con- artes .dont bother me ok .. Im a one women man .. If im with someone there is no other .. If your a good loyel women lets talk and get to know each other better cant wait to find the speshal lady. ... please no skanks I’m surprised he spelled “skanks” right. If you spell this badly, can you actually hold down a job? How did he get one in the first place??? She needs to like experiment. You are NOT experimenting on me! I have a little girl she is 6 months old and she's the love of my life and who ever I meet will have to except her as well It’s “accept”, not “except.” Sometimes, being an English major is torture.  Oh, ...

More dating profile nonsense! If you really enjoy these, check out the first book in my online dating series: I Care What I Look Like and So Should You: Narcissistic, Nutty and Just Plain Weird Dating Profiles and My Snarky Responses  http://www.amazon.com/Care-What-Look-Like-Should-ebook/dp/B01C2KADMK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1456555927&sr=8-1&keywords=I+care+What+I+Look+Like+and+So+Should+You It's practically free, and if you have KindleUnlimited you can read it for FREE!!!! Meme by Tim S. Here are the winners for this week: Package engineer. I'm the guy who made those annoying plastic packages you hate to open. Oh, so YOU’RE the one! I’m coming after you, motherfucker! nice cool guy to talk to get along with very sexual and very love to smoke weed never drink love hanging out with my son my son is 4 years ol exam for you is a good mom in his life what is cool I love to do a lot of things very adventurous I need a lady in my life...

Yes, I KNOW this is really long, but aren't you glad I broke it up into shorter segments? Because I didn't really want to leave anything out. I'm anal retentive like that. (But I'm not into anal--just thought I should make that clear.) Gloria: What about sex? Gloria: I like a cool bedroom for sleeping. I mean temperature-cool, not necessarily aesthetically cool. Gloria: That doesn’t have anything to do with sex. Gloria : We have to talk about this? Gloria: Well, your ideal guy will probably want sex. Gloria: I don’t want to go into too much detail. You know the kind of creeps I attract! Gloria: Give me something, at least. Gloria : Okay—no threesomes, no public sex and no fucking other women while we are together. Gloria: That’s it? Gloria: That’s all I’m telling you . I will save it for the guy if/when the appropriate time comes. But one thing he’ll never have to worry about is me cheating on him. I could be dropped butt-nak...