Monday, May 9, 2016

Mini Movie Monday! And my birthday!!!

Another video from Hush. Asher Perkins was there, but I don't know who the light twirler was.

I didn't really have any expectations for my birthday. I knew I was going to a burlesque show later on, but that was it. Turns out I wasn't even on the schedule for work, but they gave me hours anyway. Yes, you read that right. I had the day off, but I came into work.

I brought cake, and had "Happy Birthday" sung to me twice. The funny version was the one with the "cha cha cha" thrown in. It was hilarious! The cake was awesome, too!

I went to Bandido's for $8 off my birthday meal. I sat in the bar, and I got to watch the Kentucky Derby. I feel guilty about watching the race. There used to be a time where I would watch the race and get very upset if I had to work on that day, but this year, it kind of crept up on me. I missed all three Triple Crown races last year, the first TC winner in like 32 years or something. My television at home is analog, and I've burned through three of those digital tuner boxes, so I'm not buying another one. I haven't watched regular television at home for years now. I was hungry and wanted to eat right away, and it was around 5:30 p.m., so I got to sit in the bar and realized the race was about to start. My horse didn't win, but the guy sitting behind me won a box trifecta

So I went home to change before the show. I met up with my friends at Calhoun Soups, Salads and Spirits for the Fort Wayne Bombshells show. I didn't know exactly what to expect. The place was packed. It was a great time. Like tasteful striptease. I think one of the most fun aspects was the audience lip-sync contest. At first, they all were dancing, not lip-syncing. But it was hilarious, and the emcee did a really good job. It was a great production.

My friends wanted to try absinthe, but because the bartender was hearing-impaired, my friend ended up with a PBR. I wasn't about to try that. So she gave up and started talking with a friend at the bar. Then, Aly and Jade decided to leave, and I was going to go too, but wonder of wonders, their friend wanted to talk to me. So I spent a few minutes talking to a very nice young man. 

But I wasn't done yet. I didn't want to go home, so I headed over to Hush. I actually danced in public and had a great time. I would have stayed longer, but I've been struggling with hives the past three weeks or so. I think it's a food allergy, but I'm not sure what I'm allergic to. So, I've been experimenting with food and today I started keeping a diary. The hives were wicked Saturday night though, and I'm not sure if it was because I was sweaty, or if the tortilla chips I consumed earlier. (I think I'm allergic to starch.) I was starting to become miserable, and as I drove to the grocery store, I could feel my face getting hot. I got some lotion.

Despite the hives, it was the best birthday I'd had in years. Lots of laughter, friends, fun, cake, entertainment, and shedding my inhibitions about dancing in public. Here's a pic of the cool stuff I got:

I do think it's funny, too, that despite being almost twice the age of the friends I went to the show with, they didn't want to go somewhere else and get a drink or dance or whatever. But I'm glad I went back to Hush. I love it.

And now you know all about my birthday ...

Monday, May 2, 2016

Mini Movie Monday! It's Original! It's Bernie!

Here's some excerpts from the Sanders rally here in Fort Wayne, Indiana, at IPFW. Standing room only!

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Carroll High School Fine Arts Night Display Ideas!!!

Hey, it's that time of year again! Had a customer at work tonight come in for paint for her display. I told her I'd rerun the ideas post, and here it is!

Carroll High School Fine Arts Night Display Ideas!

It's that time of year again! No, not prom season--it's awards and recognition season, and once again, it's Carroll High School's turn. Check out Carroll's Fine Arts Night Wednesday, May 7, from 6-8 p.m. at 3701 Carroll Road, Fort Wayne IN.

I work at a big box home improvement store. Sunday, I had two young ladies and their parents come in trying to figure out an inexpensive way to display artwork. Face it, even if mom and dad say it's okay to blow $200 on a one-time only display, why would you want to? If you ARE going to spend money, it makes sense that whatever materials you decide to use, you can use again.

So here are some ideas for displays. I realize time is short, but I decided to put some ideas together. If you like them, spread the word!

For an impressive display, get your hands on a refrigerator box. If you can't find one, try and get a couple of range/dryer/washer/dishwasher boxes and paint them the color(s) you want, then tape them together. You'll have at least four sides, and a fairly tall display. You can weigh the boxes down with books for extra stability. Try and find boxes with flaps intact. I would suggest going to the home improvement/appliance stores in person to get the boxes. If you call the store, chances are you will be transferred to a department staffed by one person. They will probably be busy, perhaps too busy to look and see if there are any boxes to be had. If you actually show UP in the store, you stand a better chance that someone will track down some boxes for you. Cardboard is cheap (in this case, probably free) and is fairly lightweight. Be sure to use cardboard to mount your artwork on instead of buying expensive mats at the art stores. I think they still sell Post It note glue sticks, or some sort of adhesive that isn't permanent. Use that, or make corners for your artwork for temporary mounting.

Painting your cardboard: You will have better results if you use a primer. You don't want any printing on the box to show through. So if you are going with a black or red background, chose a gray primer.

Try and think of unconventional ways to display your artwork. A patio umbrella makes a novel way to hang artwork, as long as you have a sturdy base for it. Use fishing line and duct tape to attach the artwork so it can hang from the umbrella's outside edge. No one will see the duct tape since it will be on the top of the umbrella. Make sure the umbrella is high enough so people can walk under it.

Bookcases can serve a dual purpose of displaying 3-D artwork, such as sculpture or jewelry, and you can use the three sides to display photos or paintings. Remember to mount your prints on cardboard, and don't frame them, so they aren't heavy. If you don't have a bookcase, look for inexpensive ones such as these. You can use them over again, and to save space when you aren't using them, they are easy to take apart.

If you don't have it, see if you can borrow it. If you have lots of jewelry to display, try using a dress form, and putting a cool dress or neat outfit on it. It depends on your jewelry. Funky, modern jewelry won't look right on a formal gown.  Also consider hitting up the thrift stores for velvet jackets to use as cushions for pins. If you have satin gloves, try stuffing them with fiberfill and stitching them shut. You can use those to display rings and bracelets. Scarves would work too. Try using goldfish bowls or aquariums to display jewelry.

Wire shelving, the kind used for linen closets, comes in various depths. With some zip ties, you can attach three or more of them together and form a vertical triangle, or a cube. The wire is usually spaced in half-inch intervals, so you can attach a variety of things. Most stores can cut the length of the shelving. We have it in four, six, eight and twelve foot lengths. You can get one shelf for around $7 or so. Larger sizes cost more.

Something else you might want to consider is lattice panels. You can use zip ties at the top as a hinge, then either use more zip ties at the bottom, or twine to secure the bottoms to make a sort of giant sandwich board. It will look like a giant upside down V. You can then display your artwork on both sides. You can then use the lattice for its original intention, or use it for a garden-themed headboard or wall display panel for photos or award ribbons. 

Pallets can also be used, if you don't want your artwork at eye level. You can zip tie pallets together to make an open cube about three and a half feet high. This might not be your cup of tea, but pallets can be had for cheap, if not free.

Go scavenging! People throw out all sorts of useful stuff. If you can find four doors all the same size, you can paint them. then hinge them together for a vertical rectangle (which will be pretty darn solid) for a variation on the refrigerator box theme. Screen doors are a lightweight alternative to traditional doors. I've seen brand-new screen doors for $21. But try to borrow or scavenge if you can.

If there aren't any boxes to be had, you can always go to Office Depot and get document storage boxes. I think they come in 10 packs, so you can save some money. You can paint these, duct tape them together, and make a giant wall to display your artwork.

Most home improvement stores have sawhorse brackets for about $7 per pair. A couple of two by four by 96 inch studs cut down can make a quick table. Just slap a piece of sturdy cardboard on top, and some fabric to hide the legs and you're good to go. you can also make a giant sawhorse by buying five of the two by fours, and a pair of brackets. The fifth two by four will go across the top. You will have a sparse looking frame, which can be painted whatever color you'd like. You can hang the pictures with fishing line, or clear line. Duct tape the line to the back of your artwork. Then, duct tape the line to the top of the two by four across the top, where no one can see it. The artwork will appear to float in the air. 

Use your imagination! A lot of great artists were extremely poor before they became famous. Use this opportunity for making a display another way to be creative! Bear in mind, I don't know if you have space limitations, or how much time you are allowed to spend assembling you display. Not all of these ideas may work. Think about your artwork and if there is a theme running through it. If you need a little bit of elevation, borrow a card table or coffee table. Check out the thrifts for sheets or lengths of material to cover tops of tables, table legs, etc. Stepladders may be an option as well. You could probably make a 10 foot by 10 foot display booth out of PVC pipe. Depending on the circumference of the pipe, I saw pipe for less than $2. You could attach it with the little corner pieces. I would estimate if you did just the frame, it might run you maybe $25. Also, if you have one of those little pop-up canopies, you could use that as a display area. If it's advertising beer or some other form of alcohol, you may have to cover up the logo so you don't get in trouble.

A little bit about paint: It never hurts to prime! If you are using cardboard, it probably will have writing on it, or it won't be the right color. If you are deciding on a very dark color like black or a deep red or brown, please use a primer. If you don't, the brown or white of the cardboard may show through, and you won't be happy. If you come to Lowe's, you can get a gallon of black paint for about $21. It's called Olympic Icon, and I recommend getting it in flat, so it doesn't reflect light. I suggest using the color Black Magic, which is my favorite shade of black. It's made by Olympic. It's a pure black; if you look at our other shades of black, you'll see hints of green, purple and even brown. If you do decide to prime, get the Valspar High Hiding Primer, which is around $18 a gallon. It's white to begin with, so tell someone at the paint desk you'd like it tinted to a gray.

If you think these ideas are helpful, please let me know! My email is Please spread the word, and if you try something that works, please let me know! I will find out the date of the Fine Arts night and post it here on the blog. I just wanted to get this post up ASAP. Please spread the word if you know a Carroll student (and parents!) freaking out over displays! 

Friday, April 22, 2016

Creepy? Creepy How??? 4-23-16

Apparently, men don't like being called on bullshit in their dating profiles. I nearly got removed from one of the dating sites I'm on. And I complained about a couple of assholes. So it's not been going well, but I expected that.

Anyway, here's a fresh crop of profiles and my snarky responses.

Male 41--Not much into any games but more into my two boys!!
This sounds so wrong.

Male 41--Really not sure what to think after the judge held me up on dating, seriously!!
If the judge doesn’t want you to date, you really shouldn’t admit that.

Male 50--Life is getting shorter so let's not wait.
And if you keep smoking, it will get even shorter!

Yes the hair on the woman is my first and most reaction of my attraction...
Well, the hair on my legs is plenty long! Party time!

Male 44--I have three kids and seven grandkids that keep me on my toes.
Is it just me, or is a 44-year-old grandfather just … bizarre?

Male 32--i'm a music lover, self-proclaimed culinary badass, drunk dancer, computer nerd, winner of all the video games, and owner of a cat.
In your profile picture, you’re flipping me off. Fail.

Male 40--I am out going. I'm an outdoorsy person. I ask if u want to know more. I hate filling this out.
You are wearing a hat which makes it look like there are two black bananas coming out of your head. Your attraction factor is now at -100.

Male 61--I now own a rake, 2 hoes, a lawn blower/vac, 2 weed whackers, 2 lawnmowers, a sprayer for weed killer, 2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...sorry, got carried away. LOL No cable, just an outdoor antenna to pick up Fort Wayne stations (with 6 rooms wired and a TV in each of them), but do have Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime for movie and series watching. 3 Roku streaming devices and 1 Roku TV..

What’s scary is that he looks a LOT like Rush Limbaugh, and actually worked for a radio station in the 1980s. Really dude, why list your lawn equipment AND your entertainment crap in a dating profile? You sound like you are looking for both a gardener and someone who will veg on the couch with you. Good luck idiot. You’re gonna need it.

Male 36--I am an ENFJ!!! Myers-briggs type. My enneagram type is 3 W2
So what’s your Psychopathy Test score? Mine is 35 out of 40. The same as Paul Bernardo’s ….. um….not that it matters ….

Male 36--I work hard for a living but know how to cut loose and have a good time. I love the natural wood look and hate when it is painted. Dark purple is my favorite color near a midnight blue color but in purple.
Thanks for the design preferences! ‘Cause that’s what I LOVE talking about on dates! I love hardwood floors and indoor swimming pools!

Male 49--If you want to know, just ask.
Dude, why the white makeup around your eyes?

Male 40--my company has went through cut backs and caused me to loose my job but im working hard to obtain a new one. i will be completing my bs degree in management this year so yes im really smart...
No, you’re not. And your profile name is completely off-putting, so that really proves how dumb you are. I don’t want to suck your beautiful whatever, no matter how long it is.

Male 40--The six things I could never do without food,love,my car, my buddies,my xbox, and my porn
Man, he’s classy.

Male 43--I am a writer, musician, artist, and free-thinker. I'm mainly interested in a Dom/sub relationship or some variation thereof (especially in the bedroom). Friends are still good though, (they don't have to be submissive).
Boy, I guess he wants to weed potential candidates out before he buys them dinner… What’s funny is he looks like he stepped right off the set of Mad Men.

Male 43--The six things I could never do without fresh airsunshinetreesmusica good slavecoffee
Oh dear God.

Male 41--Not looking for a fix-her-up
So you’re not planning to “pimp this ride”?

like sitting on the pourch on a summer night or bonefire hope to meet someone who likes the same
The bones, the bones, the bones are on fire …

You must like to travel and be able to hold a conversation but know when to shut up.
Wow. Much subtle. So gentleman.

It apparently also needs to be said that if you are selarated, don't present yourself as divorced. And if you aren't even selarated, don't present yourself as such. Be honest.
“Selarated”? Does he mean “separated”? Or is this a veggie thing? “Celerated”? The fuck???

A woman that shares the same interest as i do and a woman who is selfless not shellfish
“Shellfish”? I do like shrimp, but I don’t consider myself one.

I am the father of a girl and a boy who is going through a divorce.

I know what he means, but this makes it sound like the boy is going through a divorce. Misplaced modifiers can be so much fun!

Monday, April 18, 2016

Mini Movie Monday!

It's not original. But nonsense babble from animated characters somehow calms me.

Ba ba da ba da to you too...

Monday, April 11, 2016

Mini Movie Monday!

More footage from Hush Fort Wayne. Really liked the music! The next time I'm there, I'll stay a little bit longer. My social anxiety means going to parties, bars and clubs is extremely uncomfortable for me.

Friday, April 8, 2016

April 8 Creepy? Creepy How???

My most recent post was rather sad, so here are some online dating profiles and my snarky responses to them. I haven't sent them to the daters ... but sometimes I think I should. Enjoy!

Meme by Tim S.

i laugh i sing what more could ya want.
Gainful employment, good hygiene, no tattoos, good teeth, charm, and a gentlemanly demeanor.

Just because other men have broken your heart don't automatically asume that I will too.
You spelled “assume” wrong. Therefore, you will break my heart—and my poor spelling limit.

I don't have much to offer but a big heart.
Not into guys with enlarged hearts.

Disclaimer: if we meet and you don't look like your profile photos, you're buying me drinks until you do.
And if YOU don’t look like your profile photos, you are buying me Coach handbags until you do!

A reader suggested I list gender and age with the profiles, so here ya go!

Male, 54-- I hug extraordinarily well.
And you’re lazy as fuck. His profile picture shows him with a woman with a pink dot over her face.

Male, 39-- I have visited 40 states including Canada and Mexico.
Technically, Mexico has states, but it is actually a country, as is Canada, which has provinces. Another stunning example of public education gone wrong.

Male, 43-- Secondly, you owe your children a 'sorry' with a deep explanation when they get older and certainly so does your ex. If you are a considerate thinker, you'd be attuned to the heavy complications children deal with from broken families... Whoever or whatever you deemed the responsibility. I consider the former, and my formative years as the lead reason I have a non existent self esteem.
Sorry about that dude. I started taking meds recently, and I feel more confident than ever. Also, I don’t give a fuck. You should try it.

Male, 53-- Hello, My name is Theodora and I am a 16 year old grey tabby cat, will be 17 in June. I’m writing on behalf of my human servant, who is single and looking for a nice woman for us to spend time with.

This is cute, but I don’t like cats.

Male 45-- First of all, I find it very hard to write about myself (but I'm guessing you do too)
Hell no! I LOVE talking about myself! I love it even more since I have self-confidence and I’m basically giving guys a taste of their own medicine!

Male--41 I prefer to start on the 15th date so there may be no BS, masks, lies or deceit. As if we have known one another for a while and act as if we would on date number 15. The chemistry and passion should be solid by then as well don't you agree?
This is a sneaky way to get sex (on the first/fifteenth date). What a douche.

I'm a true person, I'll give my all to you
Haha! I read this quickly and thought it said, “I’ll give my ball to you.” Hahahahaha!

I'm a southern man born & raised in the deep south woman must be able to cook
Well buddy, you’re up north now. Go make me a sandwich.

I love to breed
Most men do, but they refer to it as “fucking” not “breeding.”

I also like the quite time with that special someone
It’s “quiet” time, not “quite” time. For fuck’s sake!!!

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