Tuesday, November 18, 2014

AShort Video about the homeless and how you can help

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ukfIQSMbuao#https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ukfIQSMbuao#

Check out my latest video!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ukfIQSMbuao#

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Lotta Stuff

I've got several writing projects going on right now, but they are all school-related. And even though I told myself to update the blogs twice a week, it's getting to be a chore that is not pleasant. I know, tragic. I'll have to find ways to keep it going, but it's not like I have thousands of followers/readers, so some days, I'm like, "what's the point?"

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Invisible Woman

Went to a club the other night and no one spoke to other than to say, "excuse me" and "are you winning?" (I was playing pool.) I was all dressed up, hair done, makeup done.

Today in class, the instructor asked who was presenting next class. I didn't say anything, just to see what people would say. No one knew, including the instructor. Well, actually I knew. I am presenting next class.

I LOVE when I'm paying $1,000 a class and no one, including the teacher, has printed out a syllabus to see what's going on next class. Really warms my heart.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

If You're in the Area...

I will be at the ACPL Author Fair this Saturday, Nov. 8, from noon to 3 at the Allen County Public Library, Fort Wayne, Indiana. It's at the main branch, which is downtown. I'll have my books for sale, plus some new stuff and some free chocolate! At least 70 authors will be there, so come down and say hello!

Monday, November 3, 2014

Forgot!

Yes, I forgot to post yesterday. Sorry about that.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Feeling ...

A little bit better. My school projects were glanced at by one of my instructors, and she says I'm on the right track. So that's good news.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

A Weird Sort of Feeling...

I've been depressed lately, and self-medicating with food, which isn't helping. I can feel my left knee hurting a bit, which is a good sign that I've gained some weight. Also, the food just doesn't taste as good as I thought it would. And needing to be near a toilet when I gorge myself on a huge meal (because I usually eat greasy food) is not too cool. Because, when I gotta go, I GOTTA GO.

So, I'm on a juice fast again. I'm hoping I can eventually break through this plateau and get to my goal weight. It's more than I should actually weigh, but I don't think I'll see 120 pounds ever again. If I do, it's because I've won the lottery and I can spend 4-6 hours a day exercising, because I'll have time to do that sort of workout.

I've been avoiding schoolwork. I have some stuff I should read, and I'm a bit behind on it, but I don't think it's anything I can't conquer. I'm still worried about my major writing projects, except for my teaching portfolio. I figure I can throw just about everything I use in class in it, and I'll be done, except for the annotated bibliography, which seems ridiculous, but whatever. I actually have some time off from class so I can maybe work a bit on these projects and they won't seem so overwhelming.

I'm really hoping that by going back on the juice fast and ramping up the exercising a bit will help me break out of this funk. Even though I'm not scraping by as bad as I used to be, I've realized that even feeling sort of comfortable financially is not enough to help my depression. I really do think I could win the Powerball for some crazy huge amount, and still struggle with feeling sad, although I do think I wouldn't feel as sad so often!

But daily life seems a bit dull. I've been having some wacky dreams lately, which is a sure sign that I'm bored with the day-to-day stuff. I've decided not to worry so much about school. If I get a C in a class, I can always take another class and get an A in it, so it will balance out. I can also think about working more, once I have a few more classes under my belt, and maybe take one class a semester, and not borrow so much money. I should also do more scholarship hunting as well. So things are not so dire at the moment, but that doesn't mean I don't think about the past and think too much about things.

I still feel like there's a lot left for me, but sometimes I think it's all done for me as well. I'm not a kid, yet there are experiences I'll never have. I'll still be a bit "off" from the rest of humanity when it comes to certain things. I don't want to go into them right now, but part of me yearns for something I don't think I can have (but a part of me thinks I do deserve it). Another part of me thinks it's done in a lot of ways. Game over. I hope not, but I guess if I can accomplish things on a certain level, then it's all good.

Shit. This is way more than I planned on writing. Keeping up this blog is sort of tiring, because I have plenty I COULD write about, but I don't feel like sharing. Some of it is too embarrassing and pathetic. So, I put some of it into my critical autobiography for my paper. By God, if that paper only gets a B (I had a B- on my first effort) I'm going to start drinking.