Wednesday, December 31, 2014

New Years Eve 2014

I had a pretty good day today. I tried out my thrift shop skis up at Bittersweet. I had to be careful, because I had no idea if the bindings were set for my weight. And the technician was gone. But the skis worked just fine. They are REALLY old school--they don't look anything like the skis in the ski shop up there. The edges are straight, which means turning is a bit more difficult. But they WORKED. For $32.10 (boots, skis, poles and bindings) I couldn't pass them up. Hopefully they will hang together long enough until I can shell out for newer skis.

On the slopes, I caught myself smiling. It's rare that I smile. I am not sure why that is. Even when I'm having a good day, I look like I'm having a bad one. But I was smiling because at that moment, I was happy. I was zipping downhill, and even if I didn't look so graceful, I felt happy because I was probably getting a good workout--better than my usual ones here at home or at the gym. Sometimes I think I'd have a better outlook on life if I had my own ski hill in the backyard and if I had a swimming pool.

I probably should have stayed longer to ski, but the slope I was on felt like it was getting icy. And with my bindings set to who knows where, I didn't want to risk taking a serious fall and not having the skis release. I did fall once. I caught an edge, but I wasn't going fast and it didn't hurt.

I got to thinking a little bit about things while I was at Bittersweet. It was a beautiful sunset. I thought a little bit about the year. I made it into grad school and got an A in both of my classes. I think I was only happy when I was struggling over my papers. So in that sense, it was a successful year.

I also lost a bunch of weight (which I've gained back). I'm not happy about that, but when I stress out, I eat, and the last few weeks of school, I had three projects and three papers due, and I was hitting the potato chips and Pepsi/Coke. I feel bad about that. I feel bad, because I need to conquer my love of junk food, and I don't know if that will happen. At the same time though, I felt happy that I'd lost weight. I thought that wasn't possible. I liked the way my legs felt. I liked having a smaller waist. It also made me realize how much Goddamn salt I consume. That needs to stop.

I haven't really thought about New Year's resolutions. But on the way home from Bittersweet, I thought of something I could do. It's not really positive or nice. I thought I could be bitchy and condescending and disrespectful and rude to men. Why? Well, because for decades, I've tried being nice, considerate, kind, flirty, cool, reserved, shy, coy and myself. Men still look at me like I'm dog poop. And I hate the look on their faces when they have to deal with me. It's the old, "Jesus Christ, do I HAVE to talk to YOU?" look. Yeah, every time I look in the mirror I get depressed too. But buddy, you are not my dream come true either. The older I get the worse it gets, too. Men my age seem to have snow-white hair, or they are grizzled beyond belief. Some of them are way fatter than I am, but I'm STILL not worthy of respect or polite conversation. I'm sick of it. I'm tired of feeling like a literal dog, and wagging my theoretical tail, and being polite and getting those dead stares. So maybe I'll just slowly turn into a Euro-intellectual wannabe. I don't understand the majority of people who live here anyway, so I'll do whatever I can to show them I'm NOT like them. I'll try on a new persona around men--the nose in the air snob. I'll lose weight and try to buy quality clothes as inexpensively as I can. I mean, what the hell? Why not? The "men" around here are not worth pursuing anyway. They don't read, they don't exercise, their stomachs are bigger than mine--why have I wasted so many years worrying about them liking me? I don't ever expect to have a relationship again, but it seems that the foreigners that come into my work get along with me better than the homegrown Hoosier redneck assholes I'm surrounded by.

So yeah, maybe not such a nice New Year's resolution, but fuck it. Being nice hasn't really gotten me anywhere, except shit on, stepped on, pissed on, and taken advantage of. Maybe I'll join the Christian hypocrites and be nasty all week long, then go to Church (Catholic, it's more European) and ask for forgiveness. Speaking of which, Pope Francis is almost making me proud to be Catholic.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

A Very Quiet Christmas

I haven't written lately, because I just haven't wanted to. Not on this blog, at least. I feel like it's not being read anyway, so why bother? I have kept a journal for over ten years now, but probably that won't ever get published and that's fine.

I've wanted to relax these past few days. I completed my first semester of grad school, and really am thankful I got As in both my classes. I put in hours of work on my papers. I had to read stuff that I could not believe. But I got through it. I certainly hope next semester is better than this semester was.

Today, I slept late, like I usually do when I don't have to work or be in class. I ate a lot of chocolate and fried myself up some shrimp. I'm not sure if I will have anything else. I did some reading today, and put a video in. I didn't get dressed the entire day. Or rather, I spent the entire day in my relaxing attire: oversized t-shirt and sweatpants.

My Christmases have been pretty dull these last few years. I spend them by myself. I don't have to get dressed, I can get up at 4 p.m., and I can eat what I want. I don't have to worry about being with other people and have to put up with their nonsense. I spent too many years putting up with an acquaintance who always had something nasty to say to me, and because I stood up to this narcissistic, morbidly obese cunt, I lost a few friends in the process. That's okay.

And this weather hasn't helped either. All this rain. It's almost like it's spring. But I've been amusing myself, reading and spending hours online, looking up people from my past.

So it's quiet this Christmas. I bought a few goodies for myself. It's certainly different from past Christmases. But those people will never ever return. That I've had to learn to live with for a long time now.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Even More Close-Ups!

I'm having fun with these!

It's crunchy!
It's cheesy!
The best of its kind (in my opinion) is made in Chicago.

So what is it???

Give up???

Well, it's ...

It's cheese popcorn! Made by Jay's in Chicago! I think it is the BEST cheese popcorn in the WORLD!

Monday, December 15, 2014

This one should be easy!

If you've saved one, you've earned one.
Pick one up, all the day you'll have good luck.
You see cups of them at convenience stores near the register.

Give up???

Well, it's a ...

A penny! Minted in Denver in 2001. (That's what the D stands for.)

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Today's Close Up!

This one seems obvious, but it isn't.

Your clues:

It might be time to think differently.
It BEADS that way.
Wrist way did it go?


Ready to give up?

Well, it's a

Strap from a wrist watch!

Saturday, December 13, 2014

More Close Ups!

Here's another one!

You can always make a note of this.
And it will stick.
But not always permanently.

Give up?

Well, it's a ...

Pad of purple Post It notes!

Friday, December 12, 2014

Today's Close Up!

This one's very common, although you might not recognize the detail from the first picture.

One is never enough.
Stores are named after this.
It has many nicknames.

Give up???

Well, it's a ....

Dollar Bill! The detail is from the left side (George's right side) of his jacket.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

These Close Ups are Fun!

Here's another pair for you to decipher!

These look like mini brushes, and they are, sort of!
They also serve as filters too!

Give up?

They are ...

My eyelashes!

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

More Close Ups!

Here's another pair of close up pictures! Can you guess what it is?

It's really soft!
You can make all sorts of stuff with it.
It's cozy too!

Give up!???

It's ...
A cellphone case made out of pink fleece! The drawstrings are the ribbon that I had on the blog yesterday. The phone case is a bit too snug for my phone, but it makes a cute little case for little things.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

I'm Ready for my Close Up!

A few weeks ago at Meijer, I picked up a smartphone microscope. It has been years since I had access to a microscope, so for $15, I thought it would be an amusing toy. There was a more expensive one for $40 that I saw later on.

So I put it aside for a couple weeks, but the other night, I played around with it. It's easy to use. You just clip it on right over your smartphone camera lens, and snap pictures. A flea jumped off my dog, and I was able to snap a few shots of the tiny bug. I thought it might be fun to take pics of some ordinary objects close up, then see if people can guess what they are.

Here's my first pair of pics!

Here are some hints:

This object is soft.
It can hold things together.
It can hold bags open.
It can hold bags shut.

It comes in all colors, but yellow is a very popular color for this.

Give up? Scroll down to see what it is.

The object is an orange ribbon!

Saturday, December 6, 2014

I've been ...

Writing, just not blogging. More later, I promise!

Saturday, November 29, 2014


Really haven't felt like updating the blogs. I'm busy with papers that need to be done the first week of December, even though the semester doesn't end until the 18th or so.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Grad School Gets Interesting

I really have not enjoyed grad school. I am waiting for interview responses via email for one of my projects. My blog project is done, but I think it's boring. My ethnographic case study I just want to get out of the way, but if my subjects don't answer my questions, I won't be able to answer my question for the project. At least my teaching portfolio seems okay.

However, my "engaged research paper" is something I'm practically drooling over. For the last ten years, ever since I found out about it, I've been obsessed with the Ken and Barbie Murderers, also known as Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka. I'd never heard of them until fall of 2004, when I took a trip to Toronto. A kind stranger skated with me, and we got to talking about people and how they are not what they seem. He filled me in on this murderous duo. The next day, I think I went book shopping and since I was on a breakneck pace while on my vacation (wanting to see and do everything on my list) I began to feel a little bit worn out, and maybe just a bit sick. I spent an entire evening, from probably 6:30 p.m. until I went to bed that night reading Invisible Darkness. I don't know why I didn't buy Karla: A Pact with the Devil on that trip, but I think I bought it a couple years later.

I was enthralled with this tale of sex, drugs, rape and death. Karla is probably Canada's most hated woman.

But at the same time, I could understand a little bit about why she participated in this horrible acts with Bernardo. I have to think what I would have done if I were her. Bear in mind, I was never a pretty little blonde thing. Even when I was younger, I never felt like I was attractive. I never had a date until I was 21. I never had a boyfriend until I was 39 years old. What would I have done if someone like Paul Bernardo had swept into my life when I was younger? I would have been clueless, that's what. I wouldn't have known rough sex wasn't normal. I wouldn't have known that having a guy tell me to say things like "I'm a slut" wasn't normal.

So Karla and I, we probably had a few things in common when we were younger. Sure, she was more popular and didn't seem to have problems meeting guys, while I was shy and drowning in low self-esteem (I still am). But we both came from intact, middle class families. I'm just three years older than her. Our birthdays are three days apart. We were probably the same height and same weight. Our fathers weren't born in the countries we were raised in. Homolka's father came to the U.S. just two years before my dad left Puerto Rico to further his education in Wisconsin. Both of us thought about suicide occasionally. Both of us have high I.Q's. Both of us had have bad luck with men.

So I read Karla's story with fascination and horror. How could a seemingly very intelligent, strong-willed woman fall under the spell of Bernardo? That is what is so frightening to me. I've done things that made me wonder later, "why did I do that?" But I've never murdered anyone. Once, when I was young, I was at the movies with some kids, and one of them wanted me to go over to some black kids and call them niggers. Bear in mind, I was maybe 5-7 years old at the time. I knew it was wrong to do that. The kid didn't force me, but what if he had? Another instance where I was pressured to do something I didn't want to do was when a guy I was dating request we do a threesome. I refused that too. I am, however, angry that the day I had minor surgery, we went on several errands after the procedure and proceeded to have sex with me. After surgery, you usually just want to go home and sleep. I should have told him to fucking fuck off, because sadly, I've learned you cannot be subtle with men. Merely saying, "I'm tired," over and over didn't sink into his head. I am angry that I didn't say, "hey asshole, I just had surgery. Take me the fuck home and fucking leave."

So I'm really engaged with this paper, because although I'm horrified that Karla's relationship deteriorated so quickly (Bernardo started hitting her a year after they met) I can understand, in a way, why she stayed. Love can make you do strange things. And perhaps, in a society where having a MAN, any MAN, is valued so highly, and if you manage to catch one who is gorgeous, educated, and has plans for a comfortable future, you're going to consider yourself lucky.

Even if he hits you.
Even if he calls you stupid.
Even if you wonder why you stay, because you're so miserable.
Even if you realize you've made a mistake.
Especially when you think you might not be able to get anything better.

I am so very, very grateful that despite wondering why I can't seem to attract men, and why I can't find any men that I'm attracted to who are single and decent, I'm glad I haven't met a Paul Bernardo. When you're 17, "too good to be true" doesn't register on your radar because you still believe there is a prince out there for you. When you're 47 and you attract date rapists and you worked with someone who went on to commit murder, you're wary, and with good reason.

I want to get my other project out of the way so I can gloriously wallow in the articles and books written about the Ken and Barbie killers. Who knows, maybe I'll make it my master's thesis...

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

AShort Video about the homeless and how you can help

Check out my latest video!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Lotta Stuff

I've got several writing projects going on right now, but they are all school-related. And even though I told myself to update the blogs twice a week, it's getting to be a chore that is not pleasant. I know, tragic. I'll have to find ways to keep it going, but it's not like I have thousands of followers/readers, so some days, I'm like, "what's the point?"

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Invisible Woman

Went to a club the other night and no one spoke to other than to say, "excuse me" and "are you winning?" (I was playing pool.) I was all dressed up, hair done, makeup done.

Today in class, the instructor asked who was presenting next class. I didn't say anything, just to see what people would say. No one knew, including the instructor. Well, actually I knew. I am presenting next class.

I LOVE when I'm paying $1,000 a class and no one, including the teacher, has printed out a syllabus to see what's going on next class. Really warms my heart.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

If You're in the Area...

I will be at the ACPL Author Fair this Saturday, Nov. 8, from noon to 3 at the Allen County Public Library, Fort Wayne, Indiana. It's at the main branch, which is downtown. I'll have my books for sale, plus some new stuff and some free chocolate! At least 70 authors will be there, so come down and say hello!

Monday, November 3, 2014


Yes, I forgot to post yesterday. Sorry about that.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Feeling ...

A little bit better. My school projects were glanced at by one of my instructors, and she says I'm on the right track. So that's good news.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

A Weird Sort of Feeling...

I've been depressed lately, and self-medicating with food, which isn't helping. I can feel my left knee hurting a bit, which is a good sign that I've gained some weight. Also, the food just doesn't taste as good as I thought it would. And needing to be near a toilet when I gorge myself on a huge meal (because I usually eat greasy food) is not too cool. Because, when I gotta go, I GOTTA GO.

So, I'm on a juice fast again. I'm hoping I can eventually break through this plateau and get to my goal weight. It's more than I should actually weigh, but I don't think I'll see 120 pounds ever again. If I do, it's because I've won the lottery and I can spend 4-6 hours a day exercising, because I'll have time to do that sort of workout.

I've been avoiding schoolwork. I have some stuff I should read, and I'm a bit behind on it, but I don't think it's anything I can't conquer. I'm still worried about my major writing projects, except for my teaching portfolio. I figure I can throw just about everything I use in class in it, and I'll be done, except for the annotated bibliography, which seems ridiculous, but whatever. I actually have some time off from class so I can maybe work a bit on these projects and they won't seem so overwhelming.

I'm really hoping that by going back on the juice fast and ramping up the exercising a bit will help me break out of this funk. Even though I'm not scraping by as bad as I used to be, I've realized that even feeling sort of comfortable financially is not enough to help my depression. I really do think I could win the Powerball for some crazy huge amount, and still struggle with feeling sad, although I do think I wouldn't feel as sad so often!

But daily life seems a bit dull. I've been having some wacky dreams lately, which is a sure sign that I'm bored with the day-to-day stuff. I've decided not to worry so much about school. If I get a C in a class, I can always take another class and get an A in it, so it will balance out. I can also think about working more, once I have a few more classes under my belt, and maybe take one class a semester, and not borrow so much money. I should also do more scholarship hunting as well. So things are not so dire at the moment, but that doesn't mean I don't think about the past and think too much about things.

I still feel like there's a lot left for me, but sometimes I think it's all done for me as well. I'm not a kid, yet there are experiences I'll never have. I'll still be a bit "off" from the rest of humanity when it comes to certain things. I don't want to go into them right now, but part of me yearns for something I don't think I can have (but a part of me thinks I do deserve it). Another part of me thinks it's done in a lot of ways. Game over. I hope not, but I guess if I can accomplish things on a certain level, then it's all good.

Shit. This is way more than I planned on writing. Keeping up this blog is sort of tiring, because I have plenty I COULD write about, but I don't feel like sharing. Some of it is too embarrassing and pathetic. So, I put some of it into my critical autobiography for my paper. By God, if that paper only gets a B (I had a B- on my first effort) I'm going to start drinking.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014


I forgot to post earlier. I try to keep this updated on Tuesday and Saturday, but I haven't done anything fun lately, and I've been kind of depressed and frustrated. Working hard on a writing portfolio for class and sweating about my papers, one of which I re-did because I couldn't stand the thought of getting a B minus.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Grad School

Is not what I expected. Feeling foolish and lonely and pretty much wondering why I fucking bothered. I've not learned a single thing in eight weeks that will help me with teaching. That flushing sound is what two grand sounds like going down the toilet...

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

This Insomnia is Bullshit

Didn't get to sleep until after 7 a.m. this morning. Planning to go to bed soon, because tomorrow's day is LOADED.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Wish I ...

Could have gone to Cedar Point todsy instead of last Saturday.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

This Mood ...

Is not lifting and I'm feeling worse. I'm terrified I'm going to really screw up school. I worked and worked on a paper and I'm getting a B-. A B-! Don't think I've EVER had a B- English paper at the college level. Bear in mind, B- is equal to failure at the level where I am.

On the positive side, I guess a B- is a good grade considering I had no idea what I was doing for the assignment ...

Friday, October 3, 2014

The Bad Feeling ...

Has sort of ebbed away. I'm still a bit angry, but resigned.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

A Few Pages In, and I'm Hooked!

Maybe it's my obsession with amusement parks, and Cedar Point in particular, but I just picked up Joyland last night at Half Price Books, and I'm loving it so far. I went on a book-buying spree last night, and I have plenty to do with my two classes. That's why I left the stack of books in the car last night, because i was afraid that if I brought this in, it would replace my bedtime reading, which was for school.

I can't help it. I love Stephen King's writing. Not all of it, mind you, but Hearts in Atlantis was a book that I'd tried, but it didn't grab me. A few years later, I reread it obsessively one summer as I was writing some semi-autobiographical stories of my own.

Looking forward to Joyland! And since I'm going to Cedar Point again soon, I'm planning to take it with me so I can have something to read if I decide to pack my lunch and eat in the car. While I love Cedar Point, unless you go with name-brand food choices (Subway, Panda Express, etc.) the food quality isn't good. Even so, sometimes the major players disappoint. Like that one time I went to Tony Roma's was so disappointing, I couldn't believe I'd paid over $20 for greasy, bland food.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Please Comment on My Story! I'm trying to get a book contract!

Thursday, September 25, 2014

So You Think You Can Write?

If you don't already know, I write erotic fiction. I've entered a contest, so please check out My story is called "The Trainer." It's just the first chapter, but please leave your name, email, and a comment. The grand prize is a two-story book contract. I'd appreciate your support. Thanks.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Dekalb Free Fall Fair!!!

I didn't get a chance to get to Johnny Appleseed this year. So when a colleague told me about the fair up in Auburn I decided to go. It was perfect weather; just a little on the chilly side. I will say I've never seen so many food booths in my life in one place. I must say the selection was even better than Three Rivers Festival. Check it out! It goes until September 27. More info here:

They forgot the "Fuck yeah!"

Big white dog is OWNING the fair!

I saw only a handful of black people at the fair. I wonder if this guy was feeling a bit uncomfortable at this particular moment. Auburn is awfully white.

There were onion rings to be had, but the bloomin' onions were a nice touch. Usually I have to go to Outback for those.

It's always a nice touch to see local organizations take their rightful place among the way overpriced food offerings. I wonder if this chili was "hotter than hell."

Another local business offering fair-fried greasiness.

This sign ain't takin' no mess. 

For some reason, donuts and cupcakes and aliens were popular as prizes.

Ferris Wheeler... Wheeler... Wheeler...

He passed out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
Thank you, Simone.
No problem whatsoever.

Little white dog OWNING the fair!

Not participating, but it should. This is an Auburn icon, on Ninth Street. Fuck you, big business.

This looks like a sepia tone photograph, but it isn't.

Not a very exciting home, but how many games of "Mouse" must these guys sell in order to give their three moneymakers a decent home? Stop being greedy and buy your guys that ultimate Habitrail!

With the price of a corndog, soda and bloomin' onion, to refuse to take $100 bills seems ballsy.

Randall was NOT holding this business card. And those weren't his panties, either.

Wouldn't parents want to ride with their kids, not tickets?

This is where I bought my popcorn and Pepsi. The popcorn was not bad at all!

I didn't stop to ask, but I'm pretty sure Jean Shepherd's estate wasn't contacted about this.

This was a mystery. The Spencerville Order of the Eastern Star is so badass, they didn't even need to put a sign out front to say what they were selling. One line stretched halfway down the block. I saw a former co-worker who said this place was selling donuts. Must be the best fucking donuts in Auburn, because my former co-worker was in line for more than a half hour for these things.


There was a very nice variety of food trailers here.

Trash bag in the middle of the street, stinking to high heaven ...
(Actually, it didn't smell at all. I was just paraphrasing some lyrics from Loudon Wainright III.)

Why this dumpster was being interviewed, I have no idea. But I bet there was some trash talking.

What my intestines feel like after eating fair food.

Holy Shit! Ziggy lives! Have a nice day!

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Just a quick one ...

To say I'm feeling a bit better but still having trouble sleeping which means I am tired no matter when I get up.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore...

Still feeling depressed. I know I didn't update Saturday, and I'm sorry. I have to be online for another area of my life right now, and I'm sort of sick of staring into a screen all the time. Nothing much has been going on in my life. Nothing really bad, nothing really good. Same old shit, basically.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Depressed ...

And I don't know why. It's just a feeling of nothingness and a combination of feeling like I'm guilty and a complete failure.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Really Depressed Right Now

It was a shitty day (I lost my driver's license) and some customer thought I was being rude. Never in my life have I wanted to run away as much as I wanted to today.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Not So Happy Labor Day

I had plans to go to Shipshewana on Labor Day. Among other things, they have a giant flea market. I hadn't been there all summer, so I figured Labor Day would be a good time to do it.

I set my alarm, but really wasn't feeling too energetic. I did wake up, but debated whether or not to go. I let my dog out, and cleaned up the poop in the kitchen. She usually doesn't have accidents, but whatever. I got breakfast for Daphne and my cat, Summit, and went back to bed.

Eventually I decided to go. I thought that I could do a Shipshewana Fashion Parade Flea Market edition. So I got up, showered, prepared to let Daphne out before I left, and found more poop in the kitchen...with bright red blood in it.

Daphne seemed okay, but I called the emergency vet place. I took her in, and despite of (or in spite of) being a holiday, they were busy. I spent about three hours there, but Daphne's blood work came back perfect. They sent her home with instructions for a bland diet for the next five days, along with some meds.

I'm thinking she had one too many DentaStix. She loves those things, but they do have quite sharp edges for being dog treats. So no more of those. My plans got derailed that day, and I spent a lot more than I would have at the flea market, but these things happen for a reason. Daphne is enjoying her hamburger and white rice (but not enjoying the meds). When I last saw her poop, it was normal. So that's a relief.

Saturday, August 30, 2014


I got stung by either wasps or hornets the other day while mowing the lawn. I guess they had a nest IN the lawn, and they didn't like me mowing over their front door. Don't know why, but since then, I have been on a bee photographing kick.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Taste of Fort Wayne Fashion Parade 2014 Take Two!

I didn't have time to post all of the pictures I took, so here's round two.

Thanks for holding my beer, dad.

This is Painting With a Twist. Don't worry, I didn't hear him say anything about making trees "happy."

Obviously a commentary about what's happening in Ferguson, MO.

A M.A.S.H. reference.

Kevin Harris of Balloons to the Moon. I think he was at Three Rivers Festival as well.

Ice Mountain water from the guy who runs the Stellhorn and Coliseum Subways, and I think Georgetown as well.

Smooth Edge 2 was at Taste of Fort Wayne. They were just one of several performers there.

Bill Blass was from Fort Wayne!

This cookie, with chocolate chips and pecans and I don't know what else was really good. I think it had toffee in it, as well. Get it at Vanilla Bean here in Fort Wayne.

This is smoked gouda cheese dip with a few crackers and some pita bread. You can get this as an appetizer (in a much larger quantity I'm assuming) at Club Soda. I've eaten here before and the food is amazing.