Friday, June 27, 2014

A Million Ways to Die in the West

I love me some Seth MacFarlane. So when I saw a preview of A Million Ways to Die in the West, I knew I had to see it. I had a sort of unexpected Friday night off, so I indulged myself.

If you have ever wanted to see Seth MacFarlane get pissed on, this is your movie. The incident takes place during a pivotal scene during the movie. The movie is funny, sweet, and of course, gross. 

MacFarlane looks like he's 10 years old. He is amazingly adorable, playing a character a guy who is rather humble (a sheep farmer who lives with his parents) and heartbroken because his girlfriend, played by Amanda Seyfried, breaks up with him. She eventually hooks up with Foy, played by Neil Patrick Harrris, as a suave asshole. Albert feels inadequate because he doesn't make very much, and Foy has his own business, a mustache salon, if you really want to get down to it.

Much is made that the old West was a dangerous place to be. MacFarlane points this out in several ways, and his character, Albert is griping all the time about how horrifying it all is. Combined with his girlfriend dumping him, his life doesn't seem worth living.

Enter a group of bad guys, led by Liam Neeson. Charlize Theron plays his wife. Through a series of mishaps, Anna, the bad guy's wife, befriends Albert and teaches him how to shoot, after being humiliated at the fair. "People die at the fair," says Albert, to Anna, as they walk around the fairgrounds, complete with plastic pennants, even though it's 1880-whatever. Anna is a great target shooter, and convinces Foy to bet on her, which he loses. It's a whopping dollar, which is a huge sum back in those days. "Take your hat off boy, that's a dollar bill," says an extra to a young man, when Foy brings out the dollar bill.

There's the obligatory saloon fight, where Albert and his best friend, Edward, played by Giovanni Ribisi pretend to fistfight so they don't get hurt in the brawl. Sarah Silverman plays a sweet hooker who is Edward's girlfriend. Edward hasn't had premarital sex with Sarah, because they are Christians and are saving themselves for marriage. Edward isn't upset that Sarah is having sex all day with various men.

Anna helps Albert get the self-confidence he needs. And he does need it, seeing as that he's been hanging out with a woman who is married to Clinch, played by Neeson. Clinch is a real bad guy, and even though Albert and Anna are just friends, Albert falls in love with her.

Albert is grossed out by Foy in their shootout scene. 

Albert asks Anna to the dance, the night before his duel with Foy.

Albert runs into an indian gang, who provide insight and drugs. He drinks the entire bowl of whatever, which he was just supposed to sip, then pass on. The indians kid him about dying, but not before he goes on an amazing drug trip, featuring dancing sheep.

There is, of course, a reference to Blazing Saddles. This movie I thought was well done. MacFarlane puts together a good story with humor. Some of it is gross-out humor (sheep piss, diarrhea) but it's Seth MacFarlane: what do you expect?

I laughed out loud a lot in this movie. Some of the language is too modern for the times, but that adds to the humor. MacFarlane comes across as a sensitive guy who can actually act. This is one flick I wouldn't mind seeing again. Of course, Seth being Seth, there's a dance scene with music and song. But this movie really points out some truths: it really WAS dangerous back in the west, and when you have a 35 year life span, it's understandable that people get married at age nine, as Anna did to Clinch. If you are a Family Guy fan, you won't be disappointed. And MacFarlane has never looked better, or more adorable.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014


Dealing with a muscle meltdown in my upper left back. It hurts, like I've pulled something, or like something is incredibly tight and doesn't want to relax. Usually, I get these in my neck, but this time it's in my upper back. It even hurts to breathe deeply! I may splurge on a spa massage tomorrow. Don't want to spend the money, but if $50 will help me move without being in pain, I guess it's worth it.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Summer Solstice!

It's the longest day of the year,  so make the most of it!!!

Monday, June 16, 2014

What Do You People WANT???

I'm a complainer. I complain a lot. I get frustrated at times, and it's hard to see the good in anything. For a long time, it seemed, the bullshit was non-stop. Crisis after crisis after crisis. Then it calmed down.

I still complain, but for a while, things have been good. But I'm an overly sensitive person. I'm probably a bit OCD. And I tend toward the negative side. People have noticed this and commented on it. But I think sometimes it's easier for people to criticize complainers, while they ignore their own complaints, or make exceptions.

Take last winter for example. On Facebook, everyone seemed to complain about the winter. I didn't. I didn't complain. It was for a couple of reasons. One, the bullshit had calmed down. After a summer recovering from surgery, and ongoing financial crisis and a tree limb falling with no warning whatsoever (and I was about 30 seconds away from being hit by it) and a bittersweet fall semester teaching (I lost a good friend from high school and had a pain in the ass student, yet I met someone who proved that not all men are fucking assholes) the bullshit STOPPED. Yes, it was cold. Yes, we had snow. But for me, the bullshit stopped. I had a month off from school and I spent it reading some good books I'd ordered off Amazon, and I stayed up until dawn almost, sleeping, and sometimes didn't get out of bed until 6 or 7 p.m.

Secondly, it was winter. And I expected winter-like weather, which we got. I thought the bitter cold was refreshing, and the snow beautiful. It made the landscape prettier. Everything seemed quieter. And I got a perverse pleasure out of seeing more and more snow fall from the sky and thinking it was all rather neat, while everyone was bitching about it on Facebook.

Now, it's late spring, and we had a hot, sunny day today. Just the kind of day people were fantasizing about in January. There was a post on my Facebook feed that it was too hot. And it really pissed me off. Too hot? It's mid-June for fuck's sake, and there's already complaints?

I should unfriend every Facebook friend who complains about the heat, because for all my complaining, there are a lot more people bitching about weather. It's never hot enough, cold enough, pleasant enough, windy enough, cloudy enough, sunny enough or the humidity's wrong. What DO you people want? Perfection, I guess. I get bitched at because I'm too picky about men (I haven't gone on a date in nearly a year) or I expect way more than what I actually get, but sometimes I think I'm the only person I know grounded in reality. Winter is supposed to be cold. Summer is supposed to be hot. Fall and spring can have some awesome days, but those seasons are sometimes a rocky transition.

There are things I complain about, sure, but I think it's justifiable. A string of bad luck over months or years? Yes, I WILL complain about that, because I don't really think that's normal. Crappy jobs? I'll complain about those. You might notice that when things are going smoothly, I don't hope for bullshit to come along and destroy it. I guess people are better at dealing with bad things than I am, but then again, I don't think that's true either. I'll complain, but at least I don't do drugs or drink excessively to cope with nonsense in my life.

So yes, it was a hot, sunny day. The kind of day that's ideal for swimming. It was the kind of day that everyone was thinking about when the furnace went out this winter, or when you were trying to dig your car out, or complaining that it was just too fucking cold (try wearing layers; you might actually stay warm) to do anything.

Come to think of it, that's probably why it seems that the majority of Fort Wayne residents seem morbidly obese, or just plain overweight. Since we probably have maybe 20 days out of the year when the weather is actually PERFECT, that's probably why no one wants to exercise. Today, I jogged for an hour, outside. Yes, it was a slow jog, but except for probably a couple minutes when I re-filled my water bottle, I jogged for a solid hour.

And I didn't complain once.

Saturday, June 14, 2014


Talking about c heapskates at work.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Cedar Point is One of My Favorite Places on Earth

I remember trips to Cedar Point as a kid. For a long time, I didn't go there, because no one I knew liked amusement parks. I finally did meet someone who loved roller coasters as much as I did, however, and we went a few times, until our relationship ended.

In 2005, I made my first solo trip to Cedar Point, and I haven't looked back. I found out that going by myself had some advantages, and some disadvantages. The positives outweighed the negatives, so I try to get to Cedar Point at least twice. I figure I'm entitled. I haven't had a real, honest-to-God, stay in a hotel vacation for seven years now, so getting away to Cedar Point is something I do.

I wish I could bottle the feeling I get when I ride Millennium Force. I feel like a bird flying when I go down that first hill. I sit in the front row (by myself) and I feel like I'm soaring. Some times, when I go to Cedar Point, that is the only ride I'll get on. The Force was having a tough time the day I went, and I missed out by riding it twice because I was impatient. If I'd only waited five more minutes...but stupid me, I thought that the locker time would run out and my things would be at risk. I would have been fine if I'd not taken such a bulky wallet with me, or if I'd worn a better pair of cargo shorts with deeper pockets. Live and learn. But this ride is awesome. I hope you can see the brief video I posted.

Despite a 30 percent chance of rain, it was a gorgeous day and it didn't rain at all.

It was funny to watch this duckling in the petting zoo. He (or she) wanted the entire pan of water to himself (or herself). He (or she) nipped at everyone so much, the other ducklings cleared out.

I got a fly in my mouth from riding Millennium Force. Here it is.

It looks like I'm about to be eaten by a dinosaur, but I'm not.

Nighttime at Cedar Point is one of the best times, because I like bright lights. They look so pretty against a deepening twilight sky. It's even more spectacular when it gets fully dark out, because I think the lights look like fireworks. Here are some pictures of the Giant Wheel, and Windseeker, which is the one ride at Cedar Point which scares the crap out of me. I can ride Millennium Force all day, but Windseeker makes me think I'm going to fall out, or the ride is going to fall over into Lake Erie. The third picture in this section is a bit of the Giant Wheel as reflected in a puddle.

Hopefully you will be able to see the videos I posted. This one is a few seconds of Windseeker.

This photo is a skyline looking northwest from the Giant Wheel. Power Tower is in the center, with Top Thrill Dragster to the right.

I think if I ever won the lottery for some crazy huge amount of money, I would live part of the year in Toronto, and live part of the year in Sandusky, Ohio. I would do that so I could go to Cedar Point and ride and take pictures, and maybe even write a book about the park. I regret that I spent so many years not going to the park because I didn't have a ride buddy. But I hope to make up for lost time. I hope I will always be able to go to Cedar Point. It keeps me young, I think.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

There Are Other Elliot Rodgers Out There

I usually cringe when I hear about shootings. It seems like they happen all too frequently. I wish I had the answer to stop them, but I don't. I don't think anyone does.

I've read some of the stuff Elliot Rodger has written and how bad he felt. One article cautioned that some of the stuff he wrote was pretty graphic. I've read some way out there stuff, and while reading it, I couldn't help but nod. Yup, I felt the same way. I wish I could have talked to this guy, and said, “yeah, I have the same problems, except with men.”

We all deal with stress in different ways. I guess for me, I've always written. That, and I've eaten. I've eaten when I was depressed, and because it tastes good. Men seem to pick up guns and start shooting.

I've been bullied, and I've been very hurt. I credit the bullying I was subjected to in middle and high school with totally fucking up my relationships with men. When you hear, “you're ugly, you have no chin,” over and over and over and over and over again, it destroys you a little. I got shit from girls up to a certain extent, but it was mostly the boys saying mean things to me, and it never really seemed to stop. Being a teenager wasn't that miraculous blooming process that a lot of girls go through. What happens when you're a teenage girl and you don't start developing until you're about sixteen or seventeen and you're ugly to boot? Well, all that wonderful boy-girl stuff doesn't happen for you. I was slender, very slender, but having an ugly face didn't work. I kept waiting for that wonderful transformation to happen. It never did. And the boys didn't look at me except to be mean to me, and men never really paid attention to me, or if they did, it was to put me down, and they still sort of do from time to time. Would they do that if I was young and thin and attractive?

So—I was never asked out in high school. My first date occurred at 21. The guy dumped me after three weeks. Why? Because I was a dumb shit and let him make out with me, and having no experience with men, thought that this was normal on the first, second and third date. Of course, he dumped me because I didn't fuck him.

I didn't get a boyfriend until I was 39. For a long time, I wondered what was wrong with me, and then, I fell into a period where I just said, “fuck it. I'll probably never meet anyone, so get on with your life.” And then I met my first boyfriend. Parts of the relationship were good, but I learned what I wanted and what I didn't want. I stayed with him for longer than I probably should have because I was afraid I'd never meet anyone like him for a long time. And I was right.

I wanted to say to the shooter, “I know how it feels. I know it hurts.” At least this guy seemed like he had advantages that I certainly didn't. It's sort of refreshing to realize that even having a father with a good job, and having advantages like being able to buy nice clothes and having a nice car (BMW) doesn't mean you'll be a hit with the ladies. I don't know if this guy was bullied by girls or not, but I understand the rage. I understand not knowing what you're doing wrong.

I associate men with pain and abuse—physical (I was hit over the head with an English workbook by a bully) verbal (you're ugly, you have no chin) and sexual (molested). So whenever I see a group of men, I avoid them. I dread having to deal with men in several situations. I've tried acting every which way I can—flirty, coy, aloof, cool, kind, friendly, and none of them worked. Yes, I've even tried being myself. That was the worst, because men don't like that either.

And I hate it when people ask, “have you tried women?” No, I haven't, because ALL of my crushes have been on men. And I really do believe all the good ones are taken. Pretty much all of my crushes have been on men who have been taken. It's not like I look for a ring or ask them if they are taken, then decide to have a crush on them. But it seems like the available men out there I'm not attracted to for several reasons. There are a lot of men who haven't grown up—they are video game addicts. Yeah, they might have full time jobs and even own their own homes, but you talk to them and it's all gaming, gaming, gaming. And a lot of those guys are exceedingly heavy. I like doing stuff like going to amusement parks, and skiing, and going out for walks. I don't want to get involved with a guy who just wants to sit around and stuff himself with junk food and watch movies or play video games. And the older I get, the worse it's going to get. Despite being 47, I seem to have more energy and feel younger than I have in years. I do a lot of things by myself. Sure, I have my “lazy” days, but there's going to come a day when I may not be able to do these things. I want to do them while I can, so I don't look back and say, “I wish I'd done those things while I could.” And it seems like guys my age look pretty grizzled. If YOU don't want to make an effort, why the hell should I?

So I feel sorry for this shooter. Elliot Rodger, I'm sorry. I don't agree with what you did, but I understand your rage. Our society makes a big deal about having a partner, and having sex way early, and if you can't get along with the opposite sex, you are seen as a loser. If people were a little nicer to each other, we wouldn't have as many problems as we do. But we're mean to each other. And we should be kinder to each other. Yes, it's hard some days. But we should all try a little harder. And to this day, I still feel like that insecure, picked-on teenage girl who was never, ever asked out in high school. My self-esteem has been destroyed, and I would like to come back to my next high school reunion looking amazing, so I can tell everyone who was mean to me to fuck off. I've never really learned how to get along with the opposite sex. I refuse to act stupid around them, or defer to them, or give them blow jobs in order to get them to like me. I'm just me, and they don't like that.

The rage never really goes away, I think.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

What's In The Air???

Seems like everyone is very irritated or easily irritated lately. Including me. Which is why I'm going to do something nice for myself. It's getting so I don't want to be around people. That's my usual feeling, but only more intensified. People are posting stuff on Facebook that's annoying, my co-workers (well, just one) are annoying and I'm tired of the petty bullshit. So I'm taking a mental health day today. Pics to follow.

By the way, thanks for all the page views yesterday. A whopping 170!

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Pissed Off

People are really getting on my nerves lately.