I went out by myself today. I had to go to the doctor. It was a good thing, because yesterday, I woke up with a stomachache and the worst bloating I’d had in a while. Then, before going to bed, I basically threw up everything I’d eaten that day. Dried cranberries, toast, pizza. And I also pooped it all out. I was pretty well cleaned out after I was done. I told the doctor’s office about it, and they seemed pretty nonchalant about it. Flu, they said. They checked my incision, and it looks “wonderful.” I worked on getting info for another column, after I’d had lunch, then I came home. My moods are pretty up and down. One minute, I’m feeling okay, the next, I’m wracked with regret. As well as worrying about my finances. I’m not the only one in this boat, but I feel like an idiot for getting myself in this situation, and struggling so hard to change it and not having anything get better. Two steps forward, ten steps back.