Friday, October 19, 2012

Football is Gay. Admit it.

For some reason, I'm in a peeved mood. I already wrote a column about this, but consider this the balls-to-the-wall version of the column.

Actually, the column touches on motivation and what works and what doesn't. What I would like to talk about here is the homoerotic lure of football.

Football is one of those sports that straight men can get really involved in, and go over the top in terms of training, humiliation, training, crawling on the ground with a guy on your back and another one yelling at you, more training and humiliation. And afterward, you hand out in the locker room and jack off together.

I was forced to watch a so-called motivational clip from a movie several weeks ago at a work meeting. The person making us watch this either doesn't realize that half of the workforce sitting and watching was female, and that none of them had ever had the experience of crawling across a football field with a guy on her back. Apparently, it's called the "death crawl." One player crawls on his hands and feet, the other player lays on his back on the crawling player. In this particular clip, the coach yells at the crawling player the whole way. It gets kind of annoying. Finally, the player makes it, and the coach tells him he never gave up, and carried a 140 pound player the whole way. The player who got carried speaks up and says he weighs 160. It got a laugh from my other co-workers, but I didn't really get it. I'm used to seeing football players who weigh  more than 200 pounds. Personally, I'd LOVE to get down to 160 pounds. I'd still be considered fat, but whatever.

My point in the column was that this clip didn't motivate me at all. Turns out this clip is from "Facing the Giants", which apparently is a movie about God and football and faith. I don't know what it is about football, particularly on the high school level, that ties that sport in with God. They're practically inseparable. The coach has problems; he has a losing record, people are trying to get him fired, and things aren't looking good. But he decides to turn everything over to God and work his ass off.

Things start to turn around, but I resent that people into football assume God cares about football only. Football players think that God belongs only to them, and that God cares about the game.

Another thing that bothers me is when guys who are gay, or who seem gay, deny it. I realize that it's tough to come out, but dishonesty really gets on my nerves. Also, all the ass patting, Gatorade dumping, sado-masochistic exercises and insults and locker room pranks teeter on the edge of, how should I put it, "putting it in the endzone." Add in some shirtless guys in the stands, and the homoerotic overtones practically shout from the field.

I've known a few gay guys in my life. My first guy friend was gay. I was only devastated because I thought we had a future together. Turns out our friendship was doomed, partly because he was reluctant to admit he was gay. I like gay guys. They are funny, smart, witty, they dress fairly nicely, they aren't slobs and they smell good. Straight guys, on the other hand...well, they are yelling at television screens and probably having fantasies about nailing the quarterback in the locker room. Only they are straight. Really.

So I can't really listen to guys talk about football without snickering. Add in God, and you have the Catholic Church fumbling around on a football field. Tight pants and Gatorade dumped on people (I'm thinking wet t-shirt contest here) and pats on the butt and humiliating training exercises. Yee hah! It's not JUST gay, but gay s and m! Admit it guys. I'd be okay with it if you would admit that football is an excuse to dress up in tight pants, hang out with buff men, and crawl like a subbie to the end zone. It's too Catholic Church/Boy Scouts of America for words.

Monday, October 15, 2012

I Want My Socialism, but You Can't Have Yours


I was in the break room at work just long enough the other day to hear some Social Security receiving, Medicare-using sixty-something say if Obama is reelected, the country will go into socialism. I wisely got out of there, but it does make my blood boil. I just might burst a blood vessel if I hear some older person rail about the "evils of socialism" while benefiting from it. Gee whiz, if socialism is so bad, every single person getting Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, TANF, unemployment and any other safety net needs to "man up, "woman up" or "child up" and JUST SAY NO. Give it back. But it won't happen.

Will people realize that the "entitlements" they're getting ARE social programs? Do they realize if they are getting a check that says U.S. Treasury on it, they are being supported by the government? "But I paid into the system!" you say. Ida May Fuller paid a mere $24.75 into Social Security before retiring at 65. She ended up with nearly $29,000 in benefits, because she lived to be 100. You cannot tell me that she "paid" into the system and got what she paid into it. She got a HELL of a lot more than she paid into it.

But to hear old folks, and those on disability tremble at the scourge of socialism, and socialized medicine, I would like them first to rely on that part time cashiering job for survival, instead of SS. If it's all one big Ponzi scheme, and I'm paying for the old and disabled, I'll have to hope someone in a couple generations behind me is going to pay MY way. But I am pretty sure I won't see the money I've paid into the system. But it makes me wonder what the hell people are thinking. Take away the safety net, and watch the fun begin. It will turn out to be the survival of the fittest. On one hand, we'd save a hell of a lot of money. On the other hand, it's sad when grandma is bankrupt because she can't pay her medical bills. My parents relied on Medicare to pay for a triple bypass ($26,000) and bladder removal and full hysterectomy ($13,000). If not for Medicare, my parents would have been bankrupt. But you don't care, do you?

But having medical care for EVERYONE smacks of socialism, and it's horrible. The horror! THE HORROR! People are just too pussy to admit they like their entitlements. They are quick to claim them, but they don't want you to claim yours. It always warms my heart when a conservative who weighs 400 pounds gets government assistance to have surgery to fix his knees. Sorry, but if you are relying on the government for ANYTHING, you are partaking in the safety net. I've yet to see anyone getting SS turning it down. If you truly want to claim you are independent, retire on just your 401K and IRA and investments, and refuse your SS. But no one will do it. However, if you are totally dependent on a check from the U.S. Treasury, you are being supported by the government, you pinko hypocrite.

To make it totally fair, we have coverage for everyone, or coverage for no one. That's right: Aunt Sadie isn't covered, Uncle Donald isn't covered, your parents aren't covered, your kid is not covered and YOU are not covered. Pretty scary, huh? But to pick and choose and say the old and the poor and little kids get covered, because they are "at risk" pretty much flips the bird to the 45 million or so Americans who don't have insurance. These are the people who are busting their asses to make a living (and they are paying taxes too) and they don't have coverage, so when something goes wrong, they hit the ER. Yes, they get care, but the ER isn't cheap. So they have to pay it off in installments of $5 a month (if the hospital will allow payments; some won't) for the next ten years or so.

So if an old person is freaked out about socialism ruining our nation, take his or her SS check and tell them since they hate socialism, to give it up already. It will be hard, forcing an 80-year-old woman to get a job, but she'll toughen up. Weakness is for pussy commie motherfuckers.

Which is why every last one of us needs to exercise and eat better. Because judging by my own generation and the one behind it, we'll all need Hoverounds just to get through the grocery store. But that's okay. Medicare will pay for it. Right?

Friday, October 5, 2012

Thursday 10-4-12

A most satisfying day, for the most part. I spoke with a colleague about my books, and she was impressed at how nice they looked. Prior to that, I stopped at Dollar General and was alarmed to find out that I had no money in my checking account. Nothing really new there.

Then, I killed time before having dinner with a friend. I looked around Designer Shoe Warehouse, and I was a bit pissed off. The last part of summer, I was looking for flats. Just plain flats, preferably leather, or vinyl. Four stores, and I couldn't find anything. Then, I finally went to that cheap accessory store in the mall, and found a pair of brown flats and a pair of purple flats, for $9.99 each. Then, a few days later, I found some black flats at Payless.

So then I was at DSW and was kind of pissed off. What did I see but flats. Lots of flats. Tasteful, leather flats by known designers. I've always thought I was ahead of my time when it came to fashion. Not that you'd know it to look at me, but I remember wanting stuff way before it came available. I bought a raincoat that is black, fuchsia, and yellow. It was only $4 and change, and I've not been so excited about a raincoat since my Winnie the Pooh raincoat when I was six. This coat, which I picked up at St. Vinnie's on Calhoun, is vinyl and so colorful, it practically shouts, "even though it's rainy and gloomy, I'm going to brighten up your day!" So I've become a bit obsessed by vinyl now. I'm looking for a bag to wear with it even though I need another purse like I need a hole in my head. I saw some interesting bags at DSW, a couple made out of day glo, see-through vinyl. I also saw some other bags that were ugly. They seemed like they were made out of leather-looking rubber.

I may actually buy something there. But I thought it was frustrating that I couldn't find what I wanted earlier in the summer, and scarfed up some cheaper shoes when I did find what I wanted, after a search of probably six stores.

So then I went browsing at Joann Fabrics. I wanted to find colored vinyl to see if I could whip up a tote bag. I found lots of clear vinyl, but I'll either have to order vinyl online or settle for using pleather. But for some reason, I really would like to find vinyl--beach ball, flexible, crinkly, colored vinyl to whip up a bag or two.

Then, I had dinner at Koto with a friend. The food was fabulous. I'd recommend the Black Diamond roll. I'm definitely going back there.

And now you know about my Thursday, October 4 experience.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Keeping Busy ...

I realized it's been a while since I've posted. I've been working on getting my books into print. I don't think I would have done it, except someone who reads my column wanted to see my ebook into print. She also said she'd pay for it. So I went the print on demand route, and I have to say I'm happy with it. I got a shipment of the books the other day, and it looks really nice. So I'll be participating in the Author's Fair at the Allen County Public Library Nov. 3 from noon to 4 p.m. That's on a Saturday. I will have copies of my books for sale at a bit of a discount (I swallowed the shipping and handling costs, and will NOT be passing them on to you) and I'll even autograph them for you.

So that's what I've been doing besides posting stuff on the blog. I suppose I should post more often, but it seems like my head is swirling with possibilities for publishing. I'm actually looking forward to the future, and that's something that hasn't happened in a long time.