EdgeofGloria

Hello? Is Anyone Listening?

Just realized my last post was over a month ago. Sorry about that. My life certainly has not been boring, but it has been depressing and frustrating. And of course, no matter what happens to you, no one wants to hear it. No matter how bad it is. So that's why it's not uncommon to me when I hear of someone who seemingly was cheerful all the time, but ended up committing suicide. People ask "why?" but the reason is so simple. Because no one cared. No one wants to hear it, so we put on a fake smile and soldier through our days as best we can. Even if we are on our last shred of "hold on", we can't ever admit it. That being said, I'm facing surgery again. The last time I had serious surgery, I really did want it, because I was in such physical pain. This time, it's not so painful. But a recent colonoscopy showed why I'd been throwing up in the mornings, off and on, for the last three years or so. I tried eliminating the problematic foods/drin...

Some things have been happening to me recently; things that have pissed me off. Things that make me realize that it hasn't ended. No, and probably never will. It's Women's History Month. I've been thinking about the shit I've had to put up with from men, the relationships I've had with men, and why I'm supposed to accept being treated like shit by men, but men can hate women and abuse them because it's okay. At work, two of the other employees in the department were leaving for breaks and lunches. I jokingly said, “you men,” and one of them said back (I hope it was a joke) that if I continued with that attitude, I'd have to become a dyke. Dress in flannel, spike my hair, you know, the typical things lesbians wear and appropriate hairstyles. Because if men have abused you and treated you like shit and you dislike (or even hate them) of course, that automatically means you are a lesbian. It is pretty sad when your own so-called boyfrie...

I didn't watch the Oscars, but I've heard some backlash about Seth MacFarlane and his hosting job. I can't really get too wound up about this. I can't quite understand how the marketing/PR folks or whoever the hell it is who books these things and says, "Hey, let's get Madonna/Seth MacFarlane/Michael Moore to host whatever it is we're doing? Do they honestly expect Madonna to tone down her act? Do they expect Seth MacFarlane to do tasteful jokes? Do they think Michael Moore is going to celebrate corporate America? Well, I guess they do. People are freaking out about MacFarlane's hosting duties. I happen to like the guy; I think he's a talented singer/songwriter, plus I think he's attractive. What the powers that be don't seem to realize is that he has enough money to tell people to kiss his ass. He's made his money in Hollywood, sure, but he is also savvy enough to point out the hypocrisy that runs rampant in this nation. The "W...

I don't have Internet at home anymore, and while it's a bit of an inconvenience, I'm not really missing it. Especially Facebook. I used to be on Facebook all the time, but I'm realizing now how boring it is. Gotta go back to work now.

Because there's zero compassion in the United States, and lots of people out of work, certain people were telling America's unemployed to "create their own jobs." I'm sure some women would have taken up prostitution, except that it's illegal. There aren't any start-up costs for that. How many businesses can you start with NOTHING? According to some people, everyone who's unemployed has at least $10,000 or more to plunge into a business. I've hit bottom financially. When I was last unemployed, I scrambled for work. But I sure as hell didn't have $10K parked, just waiting for me to conquer America. I took whatever jobs I could, until I landed what I have now. But I'm still broke. However, I have more time to write, and started doing just that. Not just the bitching and moaning that I do on this blog, but fiction writing. I had a few ideas, wrote them down, and not wanting to wait, I self-published them. I published my erotic fiction, Anyt...

I've had bad experiences with men. All my life it seems, I've not had luck with men. People don't get it when I try to explain, and I usually get the "have you tried women?" question. No, I haven't and no offense to any lesbians reading this, but I am NOT interested in women. My crushes have ranged from classmates to gay guys (sigh) to one of my college professors. For a long time, I just didn't notice men. I don't know why. Maybe it was my horrible brother, the guys who bullied me in school, or whatever. It's very, very hard when you try to do the right thing, and you still get dumped on. How you deal with it depends on what kind of person you are. Some people pick up guns and start shooting. Others cut themselves. I just got more and more depressed, and looked in the mirror, and wondered what was wrong with me. It wasn't a recent problem, it's been going on ever since I can remember. It doesn't matter how I act, men don't like m...