Sunday, January 6, 2013
The One Thing I'm Actually Conservative About
I know, I know. You're shocked. I'm actually CONSERVATIVE about something? Yes. And the thing I'm conservative about is something that people are so "whatever" about, regardless of which way they lean. I may have written about this before, so if I have, forgive me.
The thing I'm conservative about is family. I hate the whole "baby daddy," "baby mama," "blended family," "single mom with boyfriend," "single dad with girlfriend" thing. I especially hate the "moms with multiple kids from multiple dads" thing. But a lot of people seem to be okay with the American family resembling a rather strange neighborhood where mom and dad don't seem to be around. I don't have kids. I knew they wouldn't be in my future either, with my screwed-up relationships when it comes to men (thanks, bro, and all you bullying assholes from school.) A sperm bank might have been an option, but considering my job history, and my childhood, that wasn't even an option either. I figured if I couldn't raise kids as well as my parents did, I wouldn't have them at all. Harsh? Well, sorry. I have low self-esteem and I'm extremely hard on myself, and egotistically, I wish people were more like me in those terms. Women would be thinking a little bit more about having kids and not opening up their legs to everyone.
Ideally, this is what I would like for American families: biological mom, biological dad, both employed, or if one earns more, let's have one parent stay at home. Be married for at least five years, have a stable home, and at least $15,000 saved. Then, you can start a family.
I can just hear the screaming now. But think about it: how many kids grow up in poverty? How many kids would be better off if they had a two parent family? And incidentally, I'm okay with gay marriage, so I'll waive the mom/dad stipulation for certain couples.
Maybe I'm just a bit miffed about women with kids, because as a middle-aged woman with no kids, we aren't worthy of help, should we ever need it. Back in 2008, when I was scraping by, I applied for food stamps and didn't get them. I survived by not paying a lot of the bills I had, and taking whatever work I could in order to bring some money in. I got through, but I realized I don't EVER want to be in that situation ever again. EVER. I also got by on the help my boyfriend's mother gave me. Had it not been for her, I'm not sure what would have happened. She took me to food banks, lent me her cellphone, kept my car's gas tank filled when gas was over $4 a gallon, and helped me with a couple of the jobs I had. She was with me when I burst into tears after the first night of my ice cream truck driving job. Math is not my strong suit and the process of making everything balance at the end of the night was frustrating. I finally figured it out, but I felt like I was being punished, somehow. But if I'd had kids, it might have been different. But no one cares about middle-aged, childless women.
So I get understandably pissed off when I see a woman with six, seven, or eight kids. She may not be getting welfare, but maybe she is. I absolutely hate Octomom. People feel sorry for you if you have kids. They don't feel sorry for you if you don't. I remember a conversation I had with a doctor when I went in to see about my fibroid tumor. I was planning to have surgery to cut off the blood supply to the tumor so it would eventually fall apart. The doctor said I shouldn't become pregnant right away, after the surgery. I told him that wasn't going to happen and why. He said I'd given quite a bit of thought to not being a mom, and that was admirable.
It is. Because having kids is a dammed serious business; one that people today don't seem to consider. They have kids the same way people with dogs say, "oh, let's have puppies!" And it galls me that so-called "conservatives" have kids out of wedlock and see nothing wrong with it. Isn't that the sort of shit liberals do? Part of the reason American society today is in the shitter is people having kids who don't know how to raise them. And people don't like to be told what to do, but if you have kids and my tax dollars have to support them, I have a problem with that. Birth control DOES exist, you know. But no, I'm the one who is looked upon as a freak, because I didn't have kids.