Sunday, June 2, 2013

Bing Cherries! And Some Thoughts on My Negativity

Okay, so about a week ago I said I was two weeks away from bing cherries. Well, I bought some yesterday. I had some today. And they are wonderful.

I went looking on the web for right hemicolectomy recovery. A site based in London advised eating fresh fruit, while on my discharge papers, it said to stick to a low-fiber diet in order to give my colon a chance to heal.

I wonder if here in the states, we are lied to. Everything here seems different from the rest of the world in terms of healthcare, education, food, lifestyle. I sort of see my surgery as a way to start over again. Maybe the polyp was due to my eating. Maybe it wasn't. There are people who practice a way healthier lifestyle than I do who wind up with cancer. For a long time, I had the urge that I should eat better, that I should stop eating like a kid. My appetite is still down. But my weight hasn't really dropped.

I've struggled with depression. I think it's been a little worse that I'm recovering from surgery, and feeling so freaking tired all the damn time. I bought some iron, and I'm going to start taking it tomorrow, along with calcium. A good multivitamin is something I should consider too, since I'm eating one meal a day, and maybe a few snacks. I just can't gear up enthusiasm for food anymore. Considering the weight I should lose, that's a good thing. But I was thinking about my depression last night, and thinking that I'm sick of being negative all the time, and comparing myself with other people. So I'm going to try to counteract the negativity with doing something, creating something, making something. Doesn't have to be a big thing, it can be something simple. I'm going to create--either write a little bit, or start a short story, or take a picture, or make music or a video. We'll see what happens with this--who knows, maybe I'll collect it all together on a website or something.




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