Friday, August 1, 2014

Prince Charming Vs. the Bad Boys


Prince Charming as he SHOULD be: in shape, and NO tattoos.




Facebook is interesting in the sense that you can people watch, but it's more of a reading exercise. You can usually spot patterns: the FB friend who only posts political stuff, which gets annoying, even if you agree with it. There's the eternal cat pictures, food photos and people who seemingly don't have a life at all, it's just re-posted stuff regarding politics, religion or philosophy.

Then, there are the people who post about their love lives. I've spotted a pattern with a FB friend who moans about not finding a guy, then finds a guy, falls in love with him within minutes. There's two weeks of bliss, of declarations of love eternal, lots of pictures. Okay, maybe three or four weeks of this. Shortly thereafter, there are cryptic posts about thinking they know what love is. Following that, the inevitable sad posts of love gone wrong. And then the cycle starts again.

I've seen one FB friend post like this on a regular basis, over a period of maybe two or three years. It's starting to get annoying. Shortly after the last "I thought I knew what love was, but now I don't and never will" post, she posted a Someecard that said something like, "Fuck Prince Charming: Give me a bad boy with tattoos." She totally missed the irony of that, of course. I left a comment saying something like, "funny how women who hook up with bad boys end up with all the drama."

I know Prince Charming doesn't exist, but do women have to completely swing the other way and think they can fall in love with a felon and reform him? Doesn't work. And if she's lucky, all the woman ends up with is a broken heart. If she's REALLY unlucky, she's broken-hearted AND pregnant. And because she's an idiot, she'll keep the child, and end up broke or the rest of her life.

Ugh. I always thought the nerd from that Mystery Date game was cute.




I get lonely sometimes, but I'm not so desperate that I hook up with anybody. I'm way past my expiration date when it comes to dating anyway. But I listen to people, women mostly, talk about their boyfriends, and I count myself lucky. LUCKY. Because I hear tales of putting up with cheating boyfriends because they make the money, and the woman and kids would be homeless without him. Or, there's the bad relationship, and the first kid, the break up, then the going back, and bingo! Kid number two. I used to think there was something wrong with me, but now, I'm really kind of glad I'm so horribly unattractive that men won't come within two feet of me unless they are trying to sell me something. I never had to worry about having kids out of wedlock.

And if there are any guys reading this, I honestly don't know what it is with women wanting bad boys. I personally think they are assholes. There's a little bit of intrigue about a guy who is a bit moody, perhaps a bit of a loner, or on the quiet side. But being attracted to flat-out assholery is something I can't understand. I chalk it up to low self-esteem on the part of women. They are so desperate for a man, they will take ANY MAN. Trust me, I've seen it.

So go ahead and date the bad boy. Then please spill your guts on FB on how terribly sad you are. Then repeat the process, until you meet King Asshole and finally marry him. Then have a couple of kids, then fuck them up terribly by getting a divorce from King Asshole, who will go on to create a whole new family, thus traumatizing your kids, because daddy doesn't have time for them anymore, and you're totally broke. That's a prescription for a horrible life. And women wonder why they end up in these situations. I'm here to tell you THAT'S WHY.

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