An oldie but a goodie. We probably all need a laugh right now. I thought this was going to be a regular feature. I thought I'd critique dating site profiles. I was having fun with it, but then it seemed like the profiles were the same thing repeated over and over. Some were even stolen, as I'd seen the exact same words used by several different men.
Plus, I get bored extremely easily, which is another reason why I stopped doing them. Maybe I will look for some less mainstream dating sites, and start these back up again.
This ran in January 2016, and I think it was the second post on this topic.
Time for another installment of Creepy? Creepy How?
A big thank you to fellow Bruin Tim S. for creating this hilarious (and horrifying) meme of Buffalo Bill paired with an actual excerpt from a guy's dating profile (typos and creepy vibe intact.)
In case you are late to the show, I've been scanning through some dating profiles and laughing my ass off. I've posted some excerpts on Facebook with my snarky commentary in boldface (because I'm a bitch) and the reaction has been extremely favorable. People are actually wondering if these profiles are for real, and they are. And the photos? Technically awful. Lots of sunglasses, hoods, hats, shade, back lit photos, and women cropped out of photos. Or not.
So, here's a few more. I dare you to not laugh at these.
I HAD MY DAYS WITH THE LAW,, IM NOT A BAD PERSON,, JUST THOUGHT ID THROW IT OUT THERE,
So, cannibal, rapist, or serial killer? Or maybe it’s unlawful conduct with punctuation.
I’m looking to meet U, an almost voluptuously curvyAlmost voluptuously curvy??? WTF?
I like to be dominant when comes to sex, anything from just vanila to role playing ,tieing up, blind folding and some spanking, The lady always set the limits ofc
How about my limit being I never want to meet you? After all, this site is NOT Plenty to Fuck.com. Talk about TMI!!!
So I really had thought by this time in my life my inner child would have been tasered, Ha!
Why? Were you abused as a child?
You can sit on my lap anytime as I'm playful like that
So he’s into pole sitters??? HAHAHAHAHA!
it' has been hard since my only daughter went to sleep in the Lord 3 years ago,
If this is how Heaven works, I’m not sure I want to go there.
I like trying different types of food from American to Chinese to Sushi
So, basically, from American to Asian. Wow. So different. Many cuisine.
Boy I hate writing about myself
And I hate reading about you! Ba-dum crash!
There is no way for you to tell from this profile that I once had long hair and played guitar in a heavy metal band.
Um…didn’t you just fucking tell me that?
Ask me about the shark I once kicked.
I hope you kicked it because it was attacking you. If you just kicked it for fun, you’re into hurting animals. What’s next? People? Huh? Answer me, you potential murderer!
You see these pics and you can easily come to a view that I am some entitled yuppie
He works in finance/hedge funds. He’s so not a yuppie. I mean, yuppies work as fry cooks and deliver pizzas. And his pics? Looks like an aging frat boy. Be still my heart! Fuck off, yuppie.