What Do You People WANT???

I'm a complainer. I complain a lot. I get frustrated at times, and it's hard to see the good in anything. For a long time, it seemed, the bullshit was non-stop. Crisis after crisis after crisis. Then it calmed down.

I still complain, but for a while, things have been good. But I'm an overly sensitive person. I'm probably a bit OCD. And I tend toward the negative side. People have noticed this and commented on it. But I think sometimes it's easier for people to criticize complainers, while they ignore their own complaints, or make exceptions.

Take last winter for example. On Facebook, everyone seemed to complain about the winter. I didn't. I didn't complain. It was for a couple of reasons. One, the bullshit had calmed down. After a summer recovering from surgery, and ongoing financial crisis and a tree limb falling with no warning whatsoever (and I was about 30 seconds away from being hit by it) and a bittersweet fall semester teaching (I lost a good friend from high school and had a pain in the ass student, yet I met someone who proved that not all men are fucking assholes) the bullshit STOPPED. Yes, it was cold. Yes, we had snow. But for me, the bullshit stopped. I had a month off from school and I spent it reading some good books I'd ordered off Amazon, and I stayed up until dawn almost, sleeping, and sometimes didn't get out of bed until 6 or 7 p.m.

Secondly, it was winter. And I expected winter-like weather, which we got. I thought the bitter cold was refreshing, and the snow beautiful. It made the landscape prettier. Everything seemed quieter. And I got a perverse pleasure out of seeing more and more snow fall from the sky and thinking it was all rather neat, while everyone was bitching about it on Facebook.

Now, it's late spring, and we had a hot, sunny day today. Just the kind of day people were fantasizing about in January. There was a post on my Facebook feed that it was too hot. And it really pissed me off. Too hot? It's mid-June for fuck's sake, and there's already complaints?

I should unfriend every Facebook friend who complains about the heat, because for all my complaining, there are a lot more people bitching about weather. It's never hot enough, cold enough, pleasant enough, windy enough, cloudy enough, sunny enough or the humidity's wrong. What DO you people want? Perfection, I guess. I get bitched at because I'm too picky about men (I haven't gone on a date in nearly a year) or I expect way more than what I actually get, but sometimes I think I'm the only person I know grounded in reality. Winter is supposed to be cold. Summer is supposed to be hot. Fall and spring can have some awesome days, but those seasons are sometimes a rocky transition.

There are things I complain about, sure, but I think it's justifiable. A string of bad luck over months or years? Yes, I WILL complain about that, because I don't really think that's normal. Crappy jobs? I'll complain about those. You might notice that when things are going smoothly, I don't hope for bullshit to come along and destroy it. I guess people are better at dealing with bad things than I am, but then again, I don't think that's true either. I'll complain, but at least I don't do drugs or drink excessively to cope with nonsense in my life.

So yes, it was a hot, sunny day. The kind of day that's ideal for swimming. It was the kind of day that everyone was thinking about when the furnace went out this winter, or when you were trying to dig your car out, or complaining that it was just too fucking cold (try wearing layers; you might actually stay warm) to do anything.

Come to think of it, that's probably why it seems that the majority of Fort Wayne residents seem morbidly obese, or just plain overweight. Since we probably have maybe 20 days out of the year when the weather is actually PERFECT, that's probably why no one wants to exercise. Today, I jogged for an hour, outside. Yes, it was a slow jog, but except for probably a couple minutes when I re-filled my water bottle, I jogged for a solid hour.

And I didn't complain once.


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