The Big Ass San Francisco Photo Album

Because too much is never enough, I took three cameras with me on my trip in November. All three had video capabilities. But I have to say the camera I used the most was the one on my Samsung Galaxy III smartphone. I also got to try my Canon EOS T5 Rebel. I can't figure out why cameras are so macho. Even the box design is full of testosterone. Ladies and gentlemen, EXTREME PHOTOGRAPHY!!!

Anyway, I'm going to label these photos. CP stands for cameraphone, T5 stands for my majorly macho photographic investment. I like the ease of using my cameraphone, but after realizing I've wanted a decent DSLR for the past ten years, I caved. There are worse addictions. For ease of use, I put the Rebel T5 on lazy program mode and shot away. This was helpful when I was on moving vehicles getting shots of the city.

CP

GNARLY DUDE!!!!!!!

CP

Mr. Bill takes on an arm wrestler at Musee Mechanique. If you like all sorts of arcade games and attractions, you'll love this place. I recommend going on a weekday shortly after it opens. You'll have the place to yourself.

CP

Predictably, Mr. Bill got his ass kicked.

CP

You know you're in a fancy neighborhood when the trees are gated. I think I was in Pacific Heights when I took this.

CP

You know you have big hair when it blocks out part of a bridge.

CP

There, that's better.

CP

Hey, look! It's the Mrs. Doubtfire house! 2640 Steiner Street. 

CP

If you like, you can rent the first floor of the house just north of the Mrs. Doubtfire house. At $8,000 a month, it's totally doable with 16 people, which comes out to $500 per person. Or only eight people at $1,000 per, which is still a bargain.

CP

Mr. Bill insisted on getting his palm read, so I let him.

CP

Mr. Bill looks at his palm reading. It says: "Your hand indicates that your heart will soon be gladdened by unexpected news coming through a relative whom you have not seen for many years. Do not let small trifles bother you, for you possess a strong willpower and can overcome them without much difficulty. Do not be too serious but look more on the bright side of life. You will soon acquire considerable means without expecting same. Four-leaved clovers you find on a Sunday (this being your lucky day) keep carefully. Best days-- 2nd, 5th and 25th."

CP

Those tiny black specks??? Those are surfers. The temperature? Around 50 degrees. The water temperature? #areyoufuckingkiddingme?

CP

Mr. Bill's first cable car ride!

CP

Gotta love a bookstore with so much history and is open until midnight. I didn't spend a ton of money in here, but I spent enough.

CP

The poetry room, City Lights.

CP

Mr. Bill in front of what used to be Castro Camera. A photo of Harvey Milk is in the window.

CP

It's The Princess Diaries house!!!

CP

Mr. Bill in front of the Golden Gate Bridge. Yes, Gloria, but didn't you get any decent pictures of the bridge? Sure I did. Hold your horses!

CP

A pretty decent bridge picture. More to come.

CP

Mr. Bill photobombs a bridge shot.

CP

One of the many businesses in Haight-Ashbury.

CP

Castro Street, where you can find...

CP

penis-shaped cookies! I bought a brownie here, at Hot Cookie, and a bottle of water.

T5

The world famous intersection. There's a Ben and Jerry's here. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

T5

City Hall, San Francisco.

T5

How can it be called a dollar store if everything is at least $1.25 or higher? I'm really bad at math, but even I know that $1.00 is not the same as $1.25.

T5

I had to get a picture of this because it makes me laugh.

T5

Still in the Castro.

T5

Hanging out at the beach.

T5

The famous Hungry I. I was tempted to go in and ask to buy a Keane painting, but I bet they get people trying that shit all the time.

T5

Because angry, hungry bird photos fascinate me.

T5

A pretty flower near Coit Tower. Hey! That rhymes!

T5

Coit Tower, shortly after sunset.

T5

Sunset, at the foot of Coit Tower, looking west.

T5

Coit Tower again. Chris Columbus in the foreground.

T5

Coit Tower. I love this time of the evening.

T5

Looking south from the foot of Coit Tower.

T5

Looking west from Coit Tower. The Golden Gate Bridge is in the distance. And yes, I got another bridge shot coming. Hold your horses!

T5

The foot of Lombard Street. See the video of me driving it here.

T5

Every time I look at this, I can't believe I took this shot.