EdgeofGloria

It's too bad that I have standards, because that's how I've lost a few friends. Although I have myself to blame, too. I give too many people way too many chances, partially out of loneliness. But I have to honestly say I'm better off without these people in my life. I don't make friends easily, and I hang on to people for too long, because I know the process of making friends (especially good ones) is difficult, especially for me. And since I meet wacky people, the prospect of running into nutjobs increases. So, here's another installment. Subject: female Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana How We Met: college Length of relationship/friendship several years I met this person in one of my college classes. She seemed friendly enough, and super-talkative. We hit it off and we stayed friends throughout college. However, since I changed my major, my classmates were graduating, while I was still expecting another couple years. I became increasingly isolated, becaus...

Despite the weather and the constant worry about finances, I'm feeling a bit better about things in general. We'll see how long that lasts, but I'm optimistic about the juice fast, and I'm starting to miss it, and it hasn't been a week since I've been back on solid food. I'm making plans to start grad school next fall. Taking tiny steps. Getting transcripts, now I need to write a letter, and hoping to get a letter of recommendation from a former college professor. He's the only one from the English department at St. Francis College who is still alive. I was able to find him on Facebook. And I found out that the English department at IPFW doesn't care about math scores, which is a damn good thing. I'll prepare for the English portions and not worry about the math. And I hope to fit into my little black dress by March. So I've got plans.

So far, I've lost 15 pounds while juice fasting. This last time, I allowed myself hot chocolate, chocolate milk and chewing gum. I lost a little over two pounds in a weeks' time, so I'm okay with it. I lost 10 pounds the first week I fasted. This seems to be working for me. Maybe it's just water weight, but my legs feel lighter and the pants are feeling looser. I know I can't do this permanently, but the scale numbers are going in the right direction. I'm also upping the exercising a bit. I want to look good this summer. Maybe I will.

So I'm on another juice fast. I've decided to allow myself hot chocolate and chocolate milk during this fast. Somehow, those taste really good, especially when I've given up solid chocolate for a whole week. I've lost twelve pounds so far, and I haven't gained them back. So here's hoping I lose at least seven or eight pounds on this fast. I've had concerned friends tell me juice fasting is not healthy; that it's going to be hard on my heart. Who said that I was going to drink juice and NOTHING BUT JUICE the rest of my life? No one, not even me. But if this is helping me lose weight, when nothing else seems to be working, what's the problem? I'm not throwing up my food, nor am I downing huge amounts of laxatives. I'm LOSING WEIGHT, for the first time in a long time. I'm tired of being fat. And I want to start meeting people who like to do the same things that I like to do, like skiing, and going to Cedar Point. Nobody I know likes to d...

I went skiing last Thursday at Bittersweet, in Otsego, Michigan. I had an absolutely great time skiing. I skied the best I've ever skied. The weather was perfect, and I stayed long enough to enjoy some night skiing. Then, I stopped at the gas station on the way back. After putting gas in, I turned the key and heard a POP! I saw the hood pop up a bit. Worried that the car was majorly fucked up, I had to find a place to stay, and make some calls in the morning. Long story short, a friend drove me home, I worked, and I got the call that the car was going to be okay. Another friend brought me back to Otsego, and I picked up the car today. Since I'd planned on stopping off at Firekeepers the other night after skiing and couldn't, I stopped off tonight. I lost four dollars and that was that. The way back was okay too. But boy, I really love skiing.

I'm in the process of reading another of Janice Dickinson's books. This one is called Everything About Me Is Fake ... and I'm Perfect! It's a great read so far. But what's really holding my attention is what Janice is saying about men. Despite being married and divorced three times, she still goes out on dates, but comes forward and says that men are pigs. But, she also says not to to give up on them. She feels they should be treated like pets--if they screw up, put them in the doghouse, and not call them. I've been treated like shit by men, but Janice's father was a fucking pedophile. My dad was great to me, for the most part, but my brother sucked. Then, the boys at school made fun of me. I came across some old pictures of me, and I WAS a mess. I feel like I'm still in my awkward stage, for fuck's sake. But why did I allow guys to make ME feel inferior? Why? I'm accomplished (college degree, self-published a couple of books) nice, helpful, an...

I returned a couple of books to the library today. One of them was a GRE prep book for the math portion; the other one was Check Please! by Janice Dickinson. I have a soft spot for Janice, because she got into modeling when everyone and their grandmother in the industry was blonde. Janice, a brunette who has huge lips and who looked Asian, emerged from a horrible childhood to move to New York City with the mother of one of her high school classmates, and kept pounding the pavements until she made it. Janice played hard, worked hard and lived hard. For all the chemical abuse she put herself through, she didn't let it completely destroy her, and now in her late fifties, looks damn good. No Lifeguard on Duty is an excellent book, and you're rooting for Janice through her childhood and early modeling days and beyond. Check Please! is also a fun read. I agree with Janice's dating philosophy (don't fool around with married men, don't steal boyfriends, the guy should ...

As I write this, supposedly a huge snowstorm is on its way. If it's anything less than the Blizzard of '78 , I will be disappointed. Now THAT was a snowstorm. It happened a long time ago, and I can't remember if anything bad was predicted. The only things I can remember is I think my dad was on a business trip, and was due to return, and my mother had a week of vacation coming. Plus, my Lhasa Apso dog, Fluffy, was about to have puppies. We kept all four of the surviving dogs and named them Melissa, Ginger, Roddy and Jones (after Caldwell Jones). They were mutts personified; I don't know if anyone else in the world had Pekingese/Poodle/Beagle/Lhasa Apso puppies, but they were great. This is Ginger. She resembled her dad, Ruffles, the most. Melissa. Originally her name was Chewy, short for Chewbacca. From left: Roddy, Jones (Jonesy) Melissa (Chewy) and Ginger on our picnic table. The blizzard was something to behold. There was a drift that bisected our...