Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Janice Dickinson's Check Please!

I returned a couple of books to the library today. One of them was a GRE prep book for the math portion; the other one was Check Please! by Janice Dickinson. I have a soft spot for Janice, because she got into modeling when everyone and their grandmother in the industry was blonde. Janice, a brunette who has huge lips and who looked Asian, emerged from a horrible childhood to move to New York City with the mother of one of her high school classmates, and kept pounding the pavements until she made it. Janice played hard, worked hard and lived hard. For all the chemical abuse she put herself through, she didn't let it completely destroy her, and now in her late fifties, looks damn good.

No Lifeguard on Duty is an excellent book, and you're rooting for Janice through her childhood and early modeling days and beyond. Check Please! is also a fun read. I agree with Janice's dating philosophy (don't fool around with married men, don't steal boyfriends, the guy should pay, the guy should be good at giving great gifts, don't go to a movie on the first date), but it's obvious that she lives in a world that the average woman won't ever know about, or even come close to.

Janice seems to be able to pick up men everywhere she goes. I'd love to meet her and tell her about my lack of relationships. Her confidence is brimming from page one. She says there are men EVERYWHERE, and the possibilities are endless. Well, perhaps if you're Janice Dickinson. It's a cruel fact of life that if you are exceptionally good-looking, and live in an exciting part of the country (i.e a big city) you will have a better pick of men than someone who lives in the middle of nowhere. Janice's "you deserve the best" attitude resonates with me, because I'd rather be alone than be with a jerk, but again, if she knew of my experience with men, she'd tell me that something was terribly, terribly wrong. She acknowledges men can be jerks, but not to swear them off completely.

Perhaps if I looked like Janice, I could forge ahead with a devil-may-care-I'm-so-fucking-fabulous attitude, but I don't look like her. When reading this book, I realized that I have the same attitude when it comes to men, but holding out for "the best" means I've spent a lot of time alone. Even when I had a boyfriend, it wasn't quite what I was expecting--and at times, it was disappointing and sometimes heartbreaking.

Janice is a smart woman. She has to know that not every woman has the same chance of getting a man that she does. She probably doesn't care, but I would like to meet with her and tell her that I admire her and I'm happy for her success, and to be thankful. Yes, her dad was a shit, but instead of ending up a stripper hopelessly addicted to heroin, she became world-famous and looked up to, because she was a brunette who took on the blondes--and won.

I do recommend this book. Those who are able to twist men around their finger will probably nod in agreement; my fellow wallflowers will probably be saying, "yeah, that's the way it SHOULD be, but..." Janice is outrageous, funny, and never boring.

No comments: