Friday, February 26, 2016

More Creepy? Creepy How??? Wacky Dating Profiles and my Snarky Responses to Them!

More dating profile nonsense! If you really enjoy these, check out the first book in my online dating series: I Care What I Look Like and So Should You: Narcissistic, Nutty and Just Plain Weird Dating Profiles and My Snarky Responses 



It's practically free, and if you have KindleUnlimited you can read it for FREE!!!!





Meme by Tim S.

Here are the winners for this week:

Package engineer. I'm the guy who made those annoying plastic packages you hate to open.
Oh, so YOU’RE the one! I’m coming after you, motherfucker!

nice cool guy to talk to get along with very sexual and very love to smoke weed never drink love hanging out with my son my son is 4 years ol exam for you is a good mom in his life what is cool I love to do a lot of things very adventurous I need a lady in my life that's the same way I would love to fall in love but that is not necessarily going to happen I want another baby hopefully a girl I'm on here looking for my future girlfriend wife baby mother 26 years old and I'm a Leo d

Very love to smoke weed??? Oh good God! Are you sure you are not Scumbag Steve???

Never meet anyone yet but let's c maybe you can help me beat boring life. I was never able to impress a woman, may be I am too boring
Dude, you have less game than I do! That’s impossible! (And kind of encouraging! Thanks!)

I am a car guy......i love to builld them and drive them.......currently own a twin turbo 94 caprice,93 camaro z28 and a 2004 subaru wrx wagon..........oh and if i ever get back around to finishing it a 1965 corvair monza. If any of this interests you i would love to hear from you !
Can you give me a car?

some one to have fun with, to have a real realationship with, play, laugh, and enjoy one other someon who would want to put everthing into life as good as possiblbe. i like to snuggle, dine out ,go moveis, barbaque on the deck, wook hard shop for nice things,, cruze the lake on a boat ,keep my house inside out. but most important thing would be sharing evering with you.

It says in his profile he can speak Spanish. WTF!??? He can’t spell in English! I bet the only Spanish he knows is “tacos” and “cerveza.” Or, as he might put “tahcose” and “servezza.” ¡Ay, dios mio!

Chivalry is not dead: I will hold car doors open for you and bring you flowers. I want to be your knight in "shinning aluminum foil!
Ugh, can you imagine the racket that would make? Also, someone wrapped in aluminum foil is going to remind me of a giant burrito. Now I’m hungry. Fuck you.

I have been allot of places have allot of experience,
Not with spelling, that’s for damn sure.

I moved to Raleigh from Canada for my dream job.
Good luck surviving in the United States of Itchy Trigger Finger America. Since you’re Canadian …
Bonne chance de survivre dans les Etats- Unis d' Itchy Trigger Finger Amérique.

hello there. what should I say in here? something id like to do. maybe the Asheboro zoo. a day trip to the coast? where we can make a toast. to having fun. in the sun. maybe to the blueridge parkway we will escape for a day having a glass of wine. after we get there would be fine. or a beer at an Asheville pub. where we can grab some grub. a walk through the park. in the the dark dark dark. with only the star light. guiding us through the night. i would like to find someone. who will be my only one. i am a romantic. hope that aint problematic.
Way to go—using “aint’ in a crummy poem. Why didn’t you just shit all over it? Also, may the ghost of Robert Frost beat your ass.

would love to find someone who would want to be my partner in crime in such endeavors. I also love watching movies and making movies, so someone who loves movies is a major plus.
Annnd those movies he likes to make are probably porn movies. NEXT!

They say you are what you eat...well I don't remember eating a sexy beast.
Trust me—looking at his picture, he didn’t eat a sexy beast. He ate a bearded NC fan.

I have the Artist Temperment..I have A..D D ......easy going layed back...forgiveing..I like people ..I love trying new things,but I stick to what works also You could be a Business woman,Teacher,Beauty Awareness, Know your Bible Iam a born agian Christ folower or 35 years...iam not in to RELIGIN...!!!!!!...only a relationship with Christ. I studyed Theo/Philos ..in Collage and got A's/Bs...but I wont bore you with all of that .
Obviously, he never majored in spelling—or studied it. You beauty awareness employees out there, might be interested in this guy. As long as you’re interested in Jebus.

I'll try almost anything once except jumping out of a perfectly good airplane!
Dammit! I was hoping to cast him in my D.B. Cooper movie musical!

If you can "dance" in a club with me that is perfect.
And we all know that “dance” means grinding up on the guy like you are a total whore. I miss the 1950s.

If we are at the gun range I will grab your butt
And then I’ll shoot you.

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