Yes! It's Another Installment of Creepy? Creepy How???

It's fun to see people trying to express themselves, and it gets even funnier when people are on dating sites. Everyone sounds great, or mental. So I've been checking out a certain dating site, looking for some wacky profile descriptions. Here's another installment. Enjoy!

Meme by Tim S.

I have always been told I am shy/quite

I believe the word you want is “quiet.” Why the FUCK is this so hard to figure out???

I am not subscribe here
Y U no good writer?

like going out and having a great time and be vary sexurl when the time comes to play
This reminds me of that Ermagerrd Meme. I like sexurl intercourse ern a king serzed berd.

Well I! Looking for a Good woman no bs. No drama. Honest bocheaterwamt some o me that wants so!ethimg out of life. Woman that works even though I'm not working at this time I don't want nowoman to take care of me either
Well, at least he’s not bragging that he “talks good” or “writes good.” He wants a working woman even though he’s not working “at this time”? What the fuck is a “bocheaterwamt”? Is that like a chumbawamba? Or a whatchamacallit?

So far the synopsis I am getting from this site is everyone is looking for the perfect man, hell if you find him I will date him
So are you gay, or bi?

Fun loving honest outgoing handsome I'll do just about anything that's just about it LOL getting up there in age LOL
Which means you’re going to die soon, LOL

Can you remember a time when you was with someone and you was able to feel so wonderful and in the moment that everything was perfect
I’d like to remember a time when people could write competently, and were well-educated and were more familiar with English language and grammar.

Dating seems so hard these days, where are all the good people.
Murdered, probably.

Ladies if you got gave,you will get played by your own deeds
WTF is “got gave”?

hoping to find somebody just like me
So you want a guy with wire-rimmed glasses and a goatee? ‘Cuz…that’s your picture.

By the lake with the fit pit going
“Fit Pit”? Is this some sort of big hole with Nautilus equipment in it? Or perhaps, it’s something else. It rubs the Ben Gay on its skin, or else it gets the hose again…

I like rum, riding my Harley, and hanging with my friends
They say you can rum from your troubles.

I love to shop and spend money.
What do you want to bet his best friend told him to put that in?

had a fiancee and baby on the way both was murdered while I was in boot camp
This is really, really tragic…but WHY would you put this in a dating profile? Because it would be awesome in a country/western song! Let me see if I can finish it… I know you are both in a much better place, and I’ve run my long race, but Jesus my feet are so damp….
Okay, I’m going to hell for this.

I was a long-time cashier, but due to depression & back problems developed due to 5 knee operations, I am unable
I was a cashier once too, but due to my shitty math skills and asshole customers, I am unable.

Open mind big smiles laughter a must punctuation optional
“Punctuation optional”? Not in my world, motherfucker.

Maybe, I'll find a 'Sara', a 'Lady in Red', a 'Sweet Melissa', a 'New Orleans Lady', 'Billie Jean', 'Sister Christian', or 'Jenny' (I already have her #(8six7-530nine), a 'Superfreak'(hmmmm, something to think about...). 'Girl You Know It's True', I might meet a 'Brown-eyed Girl' at the 'YMCA'. I don't want a 'Tainted Love', 'Jessie's Girl, 'Trouble Trouble', or a 'Man-eater'(ouch!!). 'Relax', if you have a good personality and sense of humor, then I'm 'Alive and Kicking' and a 'Thriller' and I'll show you my 'True Colors'(sweet song!). 'Let's Get It On......'(communication that is!! I had to use that classic!) because I'm a 'Sharp Dressed Man' who gets 'Hungry Like The Wolf'. If you don't like my 'story' then 'Beat It' or 'Whip It', Whip it good! 'It Takes 2' to make a thing go right, and if you don't like that song then 'Hip Hop Hurray' for 'O P P'.
Gee, you think he likes 80s music? I do NOT want him to “Pour Some Sugar on Me.”

That reminds me of a drummer joke a musician told me. Little boy says to his mom, “when I grow up, I want to be a drummer.” The mom says, “you can’t be both.” Ba dum crash!


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